Writing Wednesday- Query Quandary

by Lisa

Mt. Everest

Some might say climbing Mt. Everest is an accomplishment. Others might argue that a true victory is winning a gold medal or being awarded an Oscar.

And although we salute all the incredible people who fall into those categories and agree that those would be amazing achievements, we’re not athletic or skilled enough to join them in those ranks so we’ll settle for believing that writing a query for our manuscript The D Word is one of the toughest challenges we’ve ever faced. (Liz would like it duly noted that she deserves a close second for giving birth- twice!)

And to celebrate not only finishing our query, but making it through the process alive (more on that below), we’re giving away two $20 itunes gift cards (because music helps us write) and six autographed books by authors who’ve inspired us-Sarah Pekkanen (THE OPPOSITE OF ME) and Kristin Hannah (WINTER GARDEN). Just leave a comment (you know the drill–we’re fabulous, you love us, love the blog, blah, blah…) and you’ll  be entered to win. ;)

So back to the query quandary…Condensing the plot of our novel into two paragraphs was only half the battle. Agreeing on what the content of those two sections should be was the other. And although we feel we have an incredibly successful writing partnership, that doesn’t discount the cold hard fact that we’re both Type-A control freaks who always want to be right.

Let us take you back to the day we decided that we’d each independently take a stab at the query and then reveal our work to the other. In Southern California, it was an El-Nino-esque rainstorm that included a hurricane. In the Chicago ‘burbs, it was eighteen degrees, gloomy and included a “delightful” present from Mother Nature- Eight. Inches. Of. Snow.

Cut to Lisa holed up in her house, wrapped in an afghan blanket, tears of sadness spilling down her cheeks as she cried for the sun (okay, so maybe that’s a wee bit of an embellishment- there was no afghan). She put in her ipod headphones and typed away as she imagined she was in Maui as she listened to Bob Marley belt out Don’t Worry, Be Happy (alright, so maybe she was actually listening to Party in the U.S.A.- don’t judge!). When she finished, she smiled broadly. “This is damn good,” she said to her fountain of prosperity in the corner. It was time to send it to Liz who was going to be so pleased!

Open email form, attach query, add self-congratulatory quip to Liz, send. Wait….

Two thousand miles away, Liz stared out at the pouring rain, part of her ecstatic that she finally had an excuse to wear her new Burberry wellies, the other half of her semi-panicked that, as a result of the hurricane in SEAL BEACH, her daughter’s school was on lockdown. As Jordan Sparks sang in her ears, she wrote fast and furiously, taking the time to pat herself on the back along the way because she was still able to crank out such great content on such a miserable day. It was time to send it to Lisa who was going to be so pleased!

Open email form, attach query, add self-congratulatory quip to Lisa, send. Wait…

I’m sure you see where this story is going. Well, it’s safe to say that neither of us were as in love with our partner’s work as we were with our own! Lisa got up on her soapbox and actually said the words, “How do you not LOVE this?” and Liz retaliated with, “Um, because mine is So. Much. Better!” For an hour we debated everything- including the true definition of divorce. There was even a particularly ugly moment when someone threatened that both queries should be sent to an “unbiased” party who would decide which one should “win”. Finally, exhaustion took hold and the right-fighters agreed to sleep on it.

The next day, with much-needed perspective, fresh attitudes and plenty of caffeine all around, we decided to merge our work.  Over the next week, we methodically deleted, rearranged and reworked until we were as close to satisfied as we were ever going to get. Then, we were lucky enough to have brilliant authors including Allison Winn Scotch, Laura Dave and Sarah Pekkanen agree to review our query and give us invaluable feedback. Thank you, ladies! We are forever indebted to you!

And now as we write this blog post, our query for The D Word is complete and sitting in the inbox of our dream agent.  And now we wait. And wait. And wait some more. And it will probably be harder than when Lisa waited by the home phone (literally) to find out if she’d made the junior varsity cheerleading squad (she didn’t-and they FORGOT to call-long story!) or when Liz waited at her graduation lunch for her date  to show up (he never did- even longer story!). But many moons and hopefully more maturity later, we’re all about positive thinking- affirmations, fountains and the whole nine yards. And because of that, we know find the right agent to rep us. (That is, if we don’t kill each other trying to perfect our synopsis-but that’s a whole other blog!)

xoxo, Liz & Lisa

15 comments

The Bride Card By Lisa

by Lisa

The Bride

Some might say the President of the United States is the most powerful man in the world. Others might argue its celebrities like Madonna, Elton John or Brad Pitt who dominate. I say there’s no doubt those people are all important, but there’s someone with a lot more influence and authority. Someone who red carpets roll out for, champagne constantly appears for and anyone will do anything for.

The bride.

For one day, more important than any other uniform in the world is the white dress and veil. And more exclusive and powerful than even the elusive black American Express is another card. A card you only get to carry for one day. A card that you can milk for access to anyone and anything. A card that gets you a yes to any question you ask. A card that allows you to act however you want and still get whatever you want.

The bride card.

Even my award-winning Matron of Honor, Liz, (more on that in a minute) used it. In fact, I might even argue she became drunk with power as the words bridal suite rolled off her tongue with such ease you’d think she’d lived in the 650 square foot space all of her life. If I so much as blinked or even slightly furrowed my brow, Liz was on the phone faster than you can say bridezilla expertly using some combination of the words, “the bride wants”, “the bride needs” or “the bride is REALLY, REALLY thirsty and will ONLY drink White Star champagne.”

The Bride & the MOH

Or even when the bride card wasn’t being used for me, but was not so secretly being used for her (um, like rush ordering a hamburger the night before my wedding because the “bride was hungry”) as far as I’m concerned, she was entitled to use it. She deserved to whip out the card because she blocked and tackled like there was no tomorrow. Forget that dude from The Blind Side, Liz may as well have been 6′7″ and 350 pounds of rippling muscle as she watched my back.

Like when she offered to kick the asses of certain people who got a little over excited about the concept of an open bar or when she promised to personally rip the wildly inappropriate ensemble off a certain someone and replace it with something far more acceptable like a burlap sack or when my photographer asked us to “dolphin kiss” (not Matt and me—Liz and me!) for the second time (the first was traumatic enough) and she whispered through her toothless smile, “if he even infers we should hold hands, I’ll shove his camera where the sun don’t shine.”

And all the while, I got to float along behind her with a huge toothy smile on my face- wondering if this was what the Queen of England or a mob boss felt like- having someone else to do their dirty work for them.

I’d like to take a moment to give Liz the Matron of Honor of the Year award and thank her for:

  • Wearing four-inch heels during the ceremony even though the highest she ever goes is 1.5.
  • Reminding me to keep things in perspective. Most notably when I called her in a heated panic over a mysterious rash that had appeared on my back and she sternly yet softly warned me that I’d better get it together and realize there were people out there with real problems- like in Haiti.
  • Telling me it was okay that I cried with joy when I saw and loved myself in my wedding dress.
  • And also that it was okay to say out loud that as a producer I thought my wedding was a damn. Good. Show.
  • Sticking her entire head under my wedding dress to put on my “something borrowed” garter and smiling bravely as she got more up close and personal than even my Russian bikini waxer, Tatiana, and saw things she should’ve never had to see. In. Her. Entire. Life. (We’re close, but not that close!)
  • For doing her bride proud and giving a kick ass, laugh out loud MOH speech. (Hilarious highlights include, but are not limited to, the reminder of the pure bred cat I came dangerously close to ordering in the height of my singledom, the list of former metrosexual boyfriends including the Ryan Seacrest wannabe and the very astute and simultaneously frightening observation that my husband, Matt is practically Liz in a wig.)

Thank you, MOH!!!!

Well, I’m happy to report that my wedding day was the best day of my life. And it’s not because I got to play the bride card (okay maybe that was a tiny part of it) but because I have the best friends and family anyone could ask for! And I married the best man I could ever ask for.

Oh, and I wore the best. damn. dress. evuh!

On that note-would it be weird if I arbitrarily decided to wear my wedding dress, say, out to dinner or even to run errands? The thought of packing her away makes me too sad for words and the thought of not being the bride anymore, well, I can’t even talk about it!

;)

xoxo,

Lisa

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Five Things Liz & Lisa didn’t know about…Sarah Pekkanen

March 2, 2010

We’ve made no secret about the fact that we LOVE Sarah Pekkanen. Her debut novel, The Opposite of Me, will be published by Washington Square Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, next week.  But before it hits bookstores, she’s holding a Sarah Spike Day with a big raffle for everyone who pre-orders her book [...]

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5 Things Liz & Lisa didn’t know about…Wendy Wax

March 1, 2010

March is going to be a great month!  Not only  will we be featuring fantastic authors like Sarah Pekkanen and Jodi Picoult, we’ll also be revealing the mystery author we’ve been hinting about on our Facebook fan page.   But right now we’re ecstatic to find out five things we didn’t know about…Wendy Wax!
We [...]

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Mommy Monday-To schedule or not to schedule…

February 22, 2010

Happy Monday y’all!
To celebrate Mommy Monday, we’re giving away two copies of KEEP YOUR SKIRT ON by Starshine Roshell. It’s a smart, sassy collection of her kicky columns with legs for GenX Moms everywhere that will have you LOLing.  Just leave a comment to enter!
Considering the fact that I had to squeeze time in to write [...]

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Watch This, Not That By Lisa

February 18, 2010

We’ve made no secret about the fact that we love TV. All kinds of TV. From the good to the really, really bad (in a good way) kind. And we’ve also never had a problem hopping up on our soapboxes and giving our two cents about shows like The Bachelor. So…our love of TV + our [...]

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5k, 5k go away, come back another day.

February 14, 2010

Truth be told, I’ve never been much of a “runner”.  While my friends were off running track in high school, I could usually be found up on the tennis court flirting with boys in my short skirt and favorite orange and green Nikes.  Even when it came to exercise, I demanded that there be some [...]

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Writing Wednesdays By Lisa

February 10, 2010

Happy Hump Day!
We’re excited to be debuting our feature, Writing Wednesdays where we’ll, well, write about writing. On Wednesdays.
And to celebrate, we’re giving away five HeartThreads t-shirts with messages about love, wisdom, faith and inspiration worn close to the heart! Get it? Just leave a comment on this post (like how much you love us [...]

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Mommy Monday! Battle of the Sexes-Parent Edition

February 8, 2010

Welcome to CLIND’s first ever MOMMY MONDAY! And to celebrate, we’re giving away three copies of Kristin Hannah’s latest release, WINTER GARDEN, a story about mothers and daughters.  Just leave a comment to enter!
Today, I’m going to be bitching discussing how gender roles come into play when parenting.  Or in simpler terms, Why Daddy always [...]

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5 Things Liz & Lisa didn’t know about… Kristin Hannah

February 2, 2010

How lucky are we?  First we kicked off February with our new look (woo hoo!).  And now, we’re excited to discover 5 Things we didn’t know about NYT bestselling author Kristin Hannah!
Although lawyer turned writer Hannah has written a staggering EIGHTEEN novels, we just happened upon her work last year when Liz picked up a copy [...]

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