THE (MIS)ADVENTURES OF TEAM TRI-TIP by Liz

There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.…

After spending most of last week in Central California, I’m actually feeling hopeful again that Brian might pull out of this.  He was responding a bit before I left, and the progress reports I have been getting from Laura since I’ve left are even better.  I’m thinking I might actually be able to exhale.  Whew!  Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers!  It is truly a miracle that he will survive this.

And while I was so happy to get home to see my husband and kids, there is a part of me that wishes I was still holding 12-hour daily vigils in the ICU waiting room  with my sister-in-law Laura and brother Bill, aka Team Tri-Tip.

Team Tri-Tip has stayed behind both times Brian started going downhill.  When the accident first happened over three weeks ago, Team Tri-Tip stayed for five days.  And when we were told to get our asses up there again because things were looking bad, Team Tri-Tip stayed on an additional week.

Why Team Tri-Tip?  Well, for those of you who have been following this blog, you know that my mother cooks her ass off when times are bad.  So on that Friday, after we were told to “gather the family”, my mom was so stressed out that she went to the store, bought as much Tri-Tip as her skinny ass could carry and then proceeded t0 cook her little heart out.

So when the masses departed back to their lives on Sunday, Laura, Bill and I were left with shattered nerves and a shitload of meat.  And so we ate.  We had Tri-Tip for breakfast, Tri-tip for dinner.  And when we got take-out, Billy would add Tri-tip to it . We sauteed it, slow cooked it and  just ate it with our bare hands at times.

Needless to say, I don’t think I’ll ever look at Tri-tip the same way again.  Especially after watching Billy tear into it night after night like a cougar who had not eaten for days.  It wasn’t pretty!

But, if I’m being totally honest, I really enjoyed the time I spent with Bill and Laura these past few weeks. Bill moved to Virginia a few years ago and I didn’t realize how much I missed him until this happened.  Things like this remind you not to get so caught up in the daily grind that you forget to spend time with all the people you love.   Just sayin. Okay, that’s enough with the life lessons. Don’t worry, I’m not going soft on you!

Team Tri-Tip had a surprisingly good time together considering the circumstances and I thought I’d share the highlights…

The strange but true (mis)Adventures of Team Tri-Tip

Team Tri-Tip…

• Became potential witnesses in a civil lawsuit.(long story!)

• Thought they had met the country version of Dr. McDreamy, but he turned out to be Dr. McDickhead.

• Shamelessly sold 5 copies of I’ll Have Who She’s Having and promoted this blog to other families in the ICU waiting room.

• Ganged up on Liz because she doesn’t drink soda and then tried to peer pressure her into getting cheese on her tacos.  What part of “I have a slow metabolism” do you not understand!

• Watched a porno together. (Well actually, it was Zack and Miri Make a Porno but same difference when watching with your older brother.  Awkward!)

• Would have secret shit-talking text sidebars about each other while in the same waiting room.

• Played a brutal game of Monopoly that ended badly when Liz threw the game board across the room after she had mortgaged all her properties and was refused an IOU from the bank.

• Uncharacteristically began to have potty mouths after listening to Liz use the word f*ck in every other sentence for three days straight.  Sorry!

• When not selling the benefits of reading books with happy endings, would depress others in waiting room by discussing child prostitution and slavery in foreign countries. (Billy was responsible for this one since he works for a human rights organization that helps these children.)

• Was not warned not to watch Desperate Housewives on that Sunday and almost lost their shit when Edie crashed her car into a telephone pole.  Then was consoled by the fact that she died from electrocution, not a car crash.

Occasionally, a spoiler alert is appreciated!!!

xoxo Liz