FREEZE! by Liz

Some people may find this cold, but I froze someone today.  But don’t worry, they didn’t feel a thing…

I’ve always had a tendency to over-think.  I’ve gotten better with my analysis paralysis over the years, but I’m not gonna lie.  Every now and then I will still stew the hell out of someone while blowing out my hair.  For some reason that’s my “crazy time”.  I’ll tell someone off in my head while round brushing and accept their apology gracefully while straight ironing.  By the time I’m done, I’ve worked myself into such a frenzy that I’m ready to kick someone’s ass! (Btw, do NOT attempt to email me during the short window between the pretend-fight blowout session and my daily trip to Starbucks.  It always ends badly!)

But as I mentioned, I don’t do it much anymore.  And it’s because I learned to FREEZE.

One day last year, I popped in to see my psychic. (Yes, I have one!  Don’t you?)  She saw that I was having some drama with someone coming to visit and suggested that I freeze them.  Freeze them, I asked?  WTF?  She said I had to freeze all the negative energy that this hateful bitch(her words, not mine!) was sending my way. Apparently, I needed to write her name down on a piece of paper, put it in a Ziploc bag filled with water, stick it in the freezer overnight and throw it out the next day.

Um…okay.

I thought it was a little crazy but I decided, what the hell?  My psychic had never led me astray before. And, the dreaded visit was getting closer and closer so I was desperate!   Oh well, I thought.  What can it hurt?

So I took out my sharpie and wrote her first, middle and last name down. Even though my psychic told me a first name would suffice, I had to be sure the powers that be knew exactly who I was talking about! The next morning, I took it  to Starbucks and threw it out.  I know, I could have thrown it in our home trash but it was a hot day and I wanted to make absolutely sure that this bitch’s bad energy didn’t come back to get me when the ice melted.

And maybe it was all mental, but I did notice a change right away.  All of the sudden, I could read her emails without screaming at the computer or needing to count backwards from ten before replying.  And I didn’t even pretend-fight with her in my head while doing my hair the day they arrived!  And while their visit wasn’t perfect, I was able to get through it without reaching across the table at dinner and stabbing her with my fork after she asked me how in the world I could finish the salad I ordered.  It was so huge! Could she put half of it away for me? Really, how could I eat the entire thing?

For the first time ever, I was able to smile and say, no thanks, I was going to eat every single bite.  And I did.  And even though I felt like throwing up at the end, (it really was a big salad!) it was worth it.  Her bad energy just bounced off me like ball off a tennis racquet.

It was then that I realized this freezing shit was no joke.  The really interesting thing was that the people that you freeze continue on with the same bad behavior.  It just doesn’t get under your skin anymore!

Quick disclaimer to my friends…Before you read this next part…of course I didn’t freeze you!  I love every sweet word uttered from your mouths!  xoxo

I became like a kid in a candy store.  I was freezing everyone!  I froze people at work, relatives and even people I really liked so I was covered on the off chance they started to bug me.  Every morning I would open my freezer door, take out my bags and drive to Starbucks.  And btw, the service at that Starbucks got really bad around this same time….maybe the energy was breaking out of the trashcan and onto their employees?  Who knows.

I began to preach the benefits of freezing to all my friends. And they saw a big difference too!  Although I do notice that the effects begin to “thaw” out after a couple months for the really nasty ones so you might need to re-freeze if you catch yourself pretend-fighting with them again .  Just FYI for those of you trying this at home…

So judge all you want, but I’m proud to be a psychic-loving freeze machine.  And if you get a little shiver today, who knows, you just might be getting thrown in the freezer!

xoxo