Throughout the years, Liz and I have had our share of crises.
First there was our identity crisis. (Ask Liz about her meltdown in college when everyone called BOTH OF US Lisa.)
Then there was our quarterlife crisis. (Don’t EVUH buy one of those close-up lighted vanity mirrors after age 35. Trust me on this one ladies.)
And now, I’m in the middle of a geography crisis. A major one.
I can’t decide where I live. Chicago, IL or Long Beach, CA?
Seems like a no-brainer, right? Well….
As many of you know, about six months ago I “shmoved” to Chicago be with my soon-to-be fiance. I chose to use the word “shmove” over “move” because it was, well, less “I no longer live in California” sounding. After all, I still had a car and my furnished condo in Long Beach , my driver’s license still said Cali and, c’mon, could I ever really be a Midwestern girl?
Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Midwestern people. In fact, they’re nicer than most. But, when you technically have two residences, you can pick and choose where you want to live based on who’s asking. And most of the time, you’re going to say California mostly in order to avoid the weird, squinty look people give you when they try to process why on God’s green Earth you’d ever choose to go from the West to the Midwest. So, I’m not really lying when I say Long Beach… even though all my Hanky Pankys are in Illinois and my Long Beach condo has now been rented.
Right?
But since it’s a New Year and I’m about to marry the man I’ve been shmiving with for the past six months, it’s probably time to make a few confessions:
1. I confess: I’m still using a California driver’s license. Okay, so here’s the deal. I went into the DMV and I was ready to bite the bullet, I swear. Well, that is until I started sweating through my “I love California” t-shirt. As I looked around at the long line of wool coat and scarf wearing people, I knew that if I went through with my application for a driver’s license that I’d officially be an Illinois resident. Which meant…
I could no longer hand my California ID to the lady at Target and have her “ooh and ahh” over the great, warm life I must have back there.
I could no longer get comments from the cute boys behind the counter at Cubs games when they saw my ID. I’d officially be a Midwesterner.
So, I turned on my North Face snow boot heel and walked out of there faster than you could say Go Cubs!
2. I confess: I still watch TV on West Coast time! I still watch the Bachelor at the time my West Coast friends do. Half the fun of watching shows like these is the sideline banter I have with Liz during the show. And now, even though I have to wait TWO FULL HOURS so we can write on each other’s walls about the 24 year old with fake ta-tas who’s only known Jake for 11 seconds but is ready to marry him and have his babies, it’s worth it.
3. I confess: I’m f***ing freezing my ever-expanding ass off! In order to keep my Midwestern cred with my new Midwestern friends, I LIE about how the cold is affecting me. I tell them that this Cali girl is A-okay and that the cold isn’t anything a North Face coat and a good pair of gloves can’t handle! But the truth is, I’m freezing my ass off! It’s not like I haven’t been around cold before…I love to ski and snowboard. But…this is ridiculous. It was NINE degrees here on Sunday. And when I checked the weather in Long Beach on my Iphone (something I do at least once a day I guess to torture myself) it was SEVENTY TWO! So, to warm myself up, I’ve turned the thermostat up to 75 and gone through an entire forest of firewood trying to turn “brutal cold” nights into “warm hearth” evenings. But I’m still cold…And the only thing I’ve actually succeeded in is making my fiance’s head spin off each time the heating bill arrives in the mail.
4. I confess: When I fly back to Cali, I tell the person in the seat next to me that I’m “on my way home.” The minute I buckle myself into my seat and head to Cali, I’m often asked “do you live in California?” And I usually say, “Why, yes I do!” Then the person will say “what part?” and I’ll happily respond “Long Beach” and they’ll nod with approval. What can I say? I get homesick for the sun as soon as I make sure my Louis is stowed away properly and my tray table is in its upright position. I know that when I land I’m going to remember what I’ve been missing. How glorious it will be when I’ll be able to walk outside to the taxi line WITHOUT needing thermal underwear and a face mask. How people will be wearing flip flops in the seventy five degree January weather.
Don’t believe me? Want to see my ID?!
xoxo, Lisa
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I knew it! I could hear those snow boots crunching in the snow! xo
Aaah. I heart Long beach. Having been to (and temporarily lived in) both places, I can say, I feel your pain. I love Chicago, and the North in general (it’s where I’m from), but how could I *not* want to be from Long Beach? It has to be one of the coolest places on earth to be from.
Great post!
Becca,
I agree! I heart the LBC! And unless I move east or become a contestant on Survivor, I don’t EVUH have to learn how to build a fire.But I miss Lisa!
xo, Liz
That was pretty damn funny! I can admit that I handled the cold in a similar manner when I was back in Chicago last month. The only difference is that I was pretending that the cold didn’t bother me and it was 25 degrees! I can’t imagine 9 degrees. I actually made myself stand outside like I was on Survivor to see how long I could handle it before I went back inside and I lasted a whole 11 minutes!
Mike,
Now I know why we’re married. We just both referenced Survivor, showing everyone what COMPLETE DORKS we are. xo
Becca–thanks. Both cities have their pros for sure… but I fear the LBC may take the cake…. Thanks for commenting! xoxo
Mike, I know… Liz told me you didn’t even take a jacket! Even I’m not that crazy!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY–AGAIN!!!
My facebook page still says, location: Phoenix. I just can’t give it up, even though I’m now in my second winter in the midwest. Sadly, I did have to give up my DL…. and was completely ticked off because here in IN you can’t have hair anywhere near your face, no smile, no tilt to your head – you just have to look straight ahead with your hair pushed back for the DL pictures. Needless to say, my new IN DL pic looks worse than any Lindsay Lohan mugshot.
I thought my DL-to-be had become one of the toughest midwestern women ever b/c when she visited us (in that 9 degree weather) she didn’t even take her coat home with her and she had just given her sweater away to her future husband’s grandmother in the sweetest loving gesture ever! Alas…now I know she was just training for Survivor!
Crystal, I JUST changed mine to Long Beach. But only because I was feeling guilty for not changing much else. Your story about your DL photo makes me NEVER want to give mine up. But then there’s that little thing about my name change….UGH
Catherine–Future MIL–Aww thanks. She loved that sweater and I was happy to do it. As far as the coat, remember I brought TWO. That’s the only reason I didn’t notice that I’d left it behind
It’s going to take a while for me to TRULY get used to the mind numbing cold! xoxo
I wouldn’t be doing my duty as your mom if I didn’t point out that I tried to keep my Texas DL when I moved to California years ago (only because I was to lazy to study for the Cali DL test) until the man in the black and white car pulled me over and gave me 30 days to provide my new Cali DL or ELSE face a ginormous fine….so be very careful driving as most states have this pesky rule about wanting you to have their license if you are there past a few weeks…..on a funny note I grew up in Kansas where it is single digits most of January and February and I have been freezing this week in Texas in the 20 degree weather!!
XXOOO
I TOTALLY relate (esp to the “I’m going home” plane reference). I have the same inner turmoil, but with Pasadena and Denver. I will NEVER get used to this cold, and I don’t want to. Being completely comfortable here is the equivalent to giving up my hope for a return. I like it here just fine, but it’s not the Dena…and it never will be. At least you still have your condo…don’t ever let it go! Great post.
Tiernan–I so hear you about the hopeful return. If you resign yourself to saying you’re okay and can live with it, then maybe you’ll never leave. I get that… I won’t ever let that condo go! I won’t. I won’t. I won’t!! Thanks for the comment!
Mom, thanks for pointing out the law to me! That’s a mother’s job, afterall. I must say that I don’t do a whole lot of driving (that’s my excuse anyway) so I’m hoping that, God forbid, if I should get questioned by an officer, that he’ll understand my turmoil….that maybe he’ll even be from California or have aspirations to one day live there. Hey, a girl can dream! PS: Counting the days until I arrive in Cali in Feb!