Welcome to CLIND’s first ever MOMMY MONDAY! And to celebrate, we’re giving away three copies of Kristin Hannah’s latest release, WINTER GARDEN, a story about mothers and daughters. Just leave a comment to enter!
Today, I’m going to be bitching discussing how gender roles come into play when parenting. Or in simpler terms, Why Daddy always gets to be the good guy.
I’ve always known that my husband was higher up on the fun-o-meter than me. His willingness to act as a human submarine in the pool and ability to hold the children on his shoulders for hours were constant reminders. And for the most part, I’ve always kind of accepted the fact that, well, the kids seem to like him better than me.
Photographic evidence that Mommy DOES go in the pool.
I’ve learned the hard way that cooking their food, purchasing their clothes and, oh, what was the other thing? Oh yeah, GIVING BIRTH TO THEM just didn’t hold the same weight as playing Chutes and Ladders twenty times in a row. Or that I didn’t go on the pool slide as much as Daddy while vacationing in Maui. Hmm, is this where I bring up that we WOULDN’T be on vacation if it weren’t for Mommy? Should I mention the hours Mommy spent scouring the internet for those legendary yet impossible to find internet travel bargains? (Well, I *might* have squeezed in a little Facebook time too. But you see my point.)
Not that I don’t spend quality time with the kids-I do. In fact, nothing makes me happier than taking them to the Farmers market or reading their favorite books at bedtime. But I’m never going to build structurally sound tent cities or Lincoln log houses the way my hubby does. Just in the same way that he can barely operate the microwave and starts sweating the minute he’s tasked to purchase items unsupervised at the store. (He learned the hard way why you don’t purchase the fruit with the “manager’s special” sticker on them!)
Don’t get me wrong -I’m incredibly thankful that my husband is a wonderful father. I just wish we could share the glory from all of our hard work. Now I know how the Vice President must feel. Or that guy that only got to host American Idol the first year. Or the people who actually sang those Milli Vanilli songs.
So the next time my daughter tells me that I’m not fun like Daddy because I won’t play Memory a third time, (Which, btw, is more due to an actual lack of memory than playfulness…) I’ll show her this. I like to call it my Mommies needs love too list.
- I’m so happy that you and Daddy had fun playing superheroes all morning. It’s too bad that Mommy’s the one that needs to be burning calories. But the only running Mommy seems to do these days is into Starbucks when she’s late for work.
- I understand that you love playing tee ball with Daddy in the backyard, but does he let you stir the cupcake batter or let you roll the homemade pizza dough like Mommy? On second thought, Does Daddy even know how to turn on the oven?
- Yes, it’s so fun to play with Daddy in the pool for hours. But isn’t it nice to have a Mommy doesn’t look like a HOT MESS with her air-dried hair? And on that note, Did you see Mommy’s belly button last time she wore a bikini? Not. Right. At. All. Mommy loves you so much that she was willing to give up ever feeling comfortable in a bathing suit ever again.
- Thank you so much for reminding me that Daddy is PERFECT when I put you to bed last night. I’ll try to keep that in mind the next time we receive a “special gift” for being such loyal customers to Sportsbook.com.
xoxo, Liz
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Love it! As the mother of 3 girls (ages 10, 7, 4) and a bonus boy (3 years old), I can totally relate. I laugh at my husband when he programs the Garmin to take one of the kids to their friends house which is only 5 blocks away!! The thought of him having to navigate the carpool line after school frightens me but they give him a lot of Daddy points for coming home from work early and riding with me to pick up the kids!!
My daughter is only nine months old, and I stay home with her so I do the majority of the work with her, but her Dad is actually great. He comes home, changes diapers, helps feed her… at least at this point she seems to like ME more. However, I think that will change once she’s old enough to realize he is smarter than me about some pretty cool stuff. Unless she grows up curious about art history and all things Italian, he’ll be her go-to guy.
Carolyn, Thanks-that is hilarious that he programs the GPS! xo
Heather, yes, definitely as babies, Mom gets all the glory! But just wait until you won’t jump in the pool after spending an hour blowing out your hair. She may turn on you! =)
Hilarious, but right on! Sometimes it is a tough pill to swallow that our reward is just knowing we are doing the best for them. It does make you rethink how horrid we thought our Mom’s were when they had their breakdowns because we weren’t thankful for all they do. The rewards are small but sweet, like when they say hi Mom (not Dad) on video from the sport or school event! *Girl, you know it’s true*
Around our house he’s known as “Fun Daddy”. I’m pretty sure they call me “The Fun Police” behind my back.
Sometimes I resent being the rule maker (and keeper), the enforcer of safety protocols, the one who reminds everyone to settle down it’s almost bedtime, the answer-is-no-because-I-said-so person. I can be fun, too, honest I can!
But then it’ll be time to open the pool and the water is only 61 degrees… Then it’s not me they want, they don’t even ask. Hallelujah, I’m off duty! Times like those, I don’t mind my position in the pack. Jump in, Fun Daddy – I’ll go and warm the towels.
Michelle, NICE Milli Vanilli reference! And yes, this is payback for how i treated my mom FO SHO’!
Karla, good point! I’m going to appoint myself official “towel warmer”! xo
I think we ALL have this problem. In my house Daddy & the kiddo can spend all afternoon playing Lego Star Wars while I have to force him to sit down and do homework and nag him to take a shower. This afternoon Daddy will truly be the hero. He is passing along some of his old Star Wars toys to the kiddo–AFTER I suggested many times that he dig them out for him. I will have none of the glory, but I will know that I did contribute to the gigantic smile on a 6-year-old-boys face.
Being a Daddy, I have to say that we definitely get more props than we deserve from the kids. As much as I love it I still can’t figure out why that is the case. Like you pointed out, Mommies do so much more than the dads. It makes me constantly feel bad when I see it go on. You handle it well though! If it counts for anything, a day doesn’t go by where I don’t appreciate everything you do. Great job on the post!
Kerry, Ain’t that the truth sista? I think as Moms, we often are the unsung heroes. But that being said, it does warm my heart to see a little girl worship her Daddy so much!
Mike (Aka hubby)
Thanks for letting me call you out on this! You, as always. are a great sport about becoming fodder for this blog. Like I said, I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t truly appreciate how hands on you are, what a wonderful Dad and husband you are. But-DAMN! Can Mommy get a high five now and then? Just sayin’! Love you honey. xo
LOL!! That was GREAT! Especially the part about the bathing suit!
Hilarious post. Very nicely done
Thanks Susan. I wish I making that part up!
Thanks Jen! xo
Liz, yeah. really.
MF–awwwwwwww… that was so nice! Just sayin’.
Liz–
This is my favorite post being a mom of two boys ages 4 1/2 and 3. My youngest actually kicked me out of bed last night wailing, “Get out. I like daddy better!” And it wasn’t the first time. I’m thinking it might be because I chase him around the house singing (to Nancy Sinatra’s These Boots Are Made For Walkin’) “These lips are made for kissin’ and that’s just what they’ll do and one of these days these lips are gonna kiss all over you.”
And over here, left to his own devices hubs would feed the kids frozen pizza and ice cream for dinner every night. Of course he’s the fave!
Julie, Girl, I am so feeling ya! My Five year old told me the other day that she doesn’t want to grow up to be a Mommy because they don’t seem fun. And that they don’t eat candy. HA.
Oh dear, this makes me laugh so hard! Just today as my husband was leaving the house, he mentioned that I should take Ruby to the zoo or do something fun with her. I was instantly furious…of course he would say that…he’s “fun dad”…he doesn’t realize that the only time I get to be “fun mom” is squeezing an activity in between the market, running errands, working, cooking and cleaning. I did end up taking Ruby to the zoo and forgetting all responsibility…lets see what happens when he gets home and we’re having eggs for dinner because I was too busy being fun to go to the market.
Gabby- “Fun Dad”! I love it! Let me know how those eggs go over… xo
Liz – this is so perfectly said! I love it and of course can relate 100%! John is the fun one who comes home from work and makes akick-ass family room fort! He is also the one who always plays in the pool with them – throwing them up in the air, going down the water slide a zillion times, etc….it’s so funny and of course it makes me look like a boring mommy. Thanks for the laughs! I loved it!!!
XOXO
Why IS it that Dad’s get to be the fun guys? Dads do all the good stuff (you know, like running around the house making the dog freak out and the kid shreak with laughter – all the while in his underwear…..and breaking things because the indoor baseball game got out of control…..and dying fishing lures in the kitchen and consequently dying the kitchen floor. Yea, GOOD stuff like that.) and Mom’s get to be the homework Nazi’s….the groundation enforcers (I can’t even count how many times I had to explain to my soon to be ex-husband why we can’t let the kid off of groundation early)….and the “dinner that they don’t want to eat so they have to sit at the table for hours on end while contemplating how they can make their plates look like they ate five bites” – makers.
Holy crap that was a run-on sentence.
Anyway, I think it might be that we Mom’s are born with the responsibility gene. Or maybe it’s the GROWN UP gene. Either way – I’m right with ya on this one.
Thanks Patricia! And you know which pool slide I’m talkin’ about…that one at the Westin Villas. But yes, I can barely play a game of Jenga, let alone build a fort made of blankets!
Amanda, groundation? Too funny! Yes, there is something so much more fun about Daddys- So. Not. Fair! xo
I have a feeling that this is how my life with children will turn out, though now, I take on the form of “daddy” to my niece. I play for hours on end with her and we always have a blast – but I can send her home with mommy and collapse & relax a bit!! I’m sure that relax time will be gone, and the energy I have for my niece will be sapped when I get to become a mom!
Jennifer, yes, the *Auntie* is yet another barrier to Mommy ever getting to be the good guy! Damn you! haha. =)
I just finished reading Firefly Lane and loved it!! It was my first book I read from Kristen Hannah. I would love to read Winter Garden. Thanks
CONGRATS TO CLIND READERS SHANNON, JULIE AND KERRY! They’ve each won a copy of Kristin Hannah’s WINTER GARDEN. Thanks to all who commented! xoxo
The bellybutton, the hair… I’m so with you! Mommies are meant to stay by the side of the pool, sipping a frosty little cocktail and signaling the cabana boy to rub a little more lotion on their shoulders, while Daddies splash down the slide. It’s the way nature intended things to be.
Sarah, You MUST tell us which pool you’re hanging out at! Because I could really use that cabana boy! (So my back doesn’t get burned, of course! Get your mind out of the gutter.) =)
I’m a mom of 2 boys. I’m also a mom who can’t seem to figure out how to play the video games that my sons & my husband play together. They even talk about the games when they aren’t playing. Let me tell you how completely useless I am when the xbox is on! Dad therefore becomes ‘cool dad’ who can figure out how to get the extra bonus cube or make the character jump up three levels. Which leaves me, as the uncool mom that has to set the timer so they don’t play all day. I’m the mom that is forced to announce it’s homework/dinner/bath/bed time. I’m the mom that get’s “you’re mean” said to her way.too.much.
I want to be ‘cool at xbox mom’ just once!
Michelle, too funny! My daughter actually said, “okay MEAN MOMMY!” when I asked her to stop channeling Evil Kenevil last night while she was leaping from couch to couch! And we don’t have an Xbox yet, but I can only imagine what’s in store for me!