I’m in a slump. A writing slump. After working like crazy on the The D Word and then battling our way through the query process I find myself a bit, um, unmotivated while we wait patiently for our dream agent to realize that we’re the next big thing in publishing.
So rather than pitching articles and brainstorming ideas in my spare time, I’ve been Facebooking with reckless abandon. And RTing my face off on Twitter. And I even downloaded that Oprah tell-all biography to my Nook last week. It was clear- I had officially hit my diversion rock bottom.
So when it came time to write about writing, I was perplexed. Because besides this blog and a few other things, I haven’t been doing much writing at all this past month. (Unless you count Facebook status updates. I’ve been killing it over there!) I picked up my trusty journal, dusted it off and opened it up to find only empty pages. Where, oh where, had my inspiration gone?
So I did what any self-respecting blogger does in this situation. I decided to write about why I’m not writing. My editing downfall. My own version of internet crack.
Facebook.
Since spending so much time over on “The Book”(that’s what I like to call it), I’ve noticed a few things. Or rather, a few types of Facebookers that make me shake my head, LOL, LMAO, ROTF or hit the “Hide” button. Have you seen these people? Are YOU one of these people? It’s okay if you are. As a self-proclaimed Facebook whore, I’ll be friends with ya anyway.
1. The Facebook Bulimic
It’s all or nothing for this person. You won’t hear a peep from them for two months and then BAM! They throw up all over your page, your pics and your status, then disappear as quickly as they came- not to be heard from until their next purge. A “like” or even a “ha!” in between would go a long way. Consistency please!
2. The Embarrasser
I personally think there’s a little bit of this one in all of us. I’ve posted my fair share of junior prom and GNO gone wrong pics. But there are some people that won’t rest until every single picture from the 80′s and 90′s has been posted and tagged. Until every bad fashion decision and aqua-net inspired hairstyle has been revealed. How many times do I have to defend my pre-tweezed eyebrows? For the last time, I was going for that whole Brooke Shields look!
3. The Debbie Downer
I felt real bad the first time your kids got sick. And it really sucked when you got that flat tire. And when your flight was delayed I still was hoping you were just having a run of bad luck. But when it never ended I realized you were Debbie Downer: Facebook edition and hit the “hide” button faster than you could say Farmville.
4. The Politician
Left, right or in the middle, I don’t want to talk politics on FB. I’m just there to check out if my exes moved on with someone hotter than me, not to watch “Meet the Press“. And the ensuing political comment battles that go on? Ugh. I’d rather be subjected to a million Mafia Wars posts. And that’s saying a lot. Can’t we all just get along?
5. The Non-Responder
I’m sad to say that my husband falls squarely into this category. In fact, maybe I even over-Facebook in a misguided attempt to make up for his non-responsiveness. Tag him in a old picture back when he had a mullet? Never gonna say a thing. Write a sweet nothing on his wall? It will forever sit there untouched. Give him a poke? Nada. Nothing. Well, in Facebookland anyway. It goes over much better in person at home. =)
What divine diversions do you indulge in? Leave a comment to be entered to win one of three copies of Chelsea Handler’s latest, CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG!
xoxo, Liz
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This is so good. I just love it. I know at least one individual in each category. And I find that when I am hanging out the most on FB or Twitter, I am the most heavily in avoidance about way too many things I should be doing. It’s like a cry for help – please throw me into the garden to plant those dahlia bulbs. Go try out that new breakfast recipe. Go clean that BATHROOM! Ugh. I am pretty good at procrastinating by nature, I really don’t need help from the square magnet with an apple on the top.
I hope you get the book published and procrastination can take place on a far away island with natives using palm leaves as fans around the pool.
Diana–thanks. If we end up in that far away island, you’re definitely invited! xo
Thanks so much Diana! I know, I need some motivation-someone read my query please!!! ha.
Liz, a.k.a. “writing partner”–
So this is what you’ve been doing instead of working on our next project? Hmmm…. not sure what to do with the info now that the cat’s out of the bag. Should I have Mike Fenton take away Mac Macbook? No… that won’t work because you need him to write our next great masterpiece! ;) Well, since you’ve been honest, I guess now’s the time that I should admit my divine diversion. *Drum Roll Please*
Farmville.
I’m kidding. In fact, what is the deal with people farming on Facebook? The other day someone gave birth to a baby cow. I was so confused.
In all seriousness, everyone deserves a divine diversion. Plus, I like to tell myself that I get some of my best “writing” ideas on Facebook and Twitter!
xoxo
Distraction = Procrastination. I do a lot of work on the computer, and find it impossible to resist the temptations of FB, emails, etc. If I turn my sound off on the comp, I still have my little Crackberry going off with its new disco light display. Shiny. Because, after the 50th time checking FB without any new updates, I resort to downloading totally unnecessary apps.
Case in point, I started this response two hours ago and have been side tracked with endless internet exploration.
I’ll end with this, Liz, you and Lisa are hilarious. If you get writers block, just copy a day’s dialog between you two and I’m sure all of us will be quite entertained.
Love this! Lately all of my “friends” have been The Politician or Debbie Downer and a few are even both! My husband says I got my iPhone just because I couldn’t be away from FB for more than an hour!!
I LOVED this entry! I am exactly in the same boat, and I have to say, you just gave me motivation! As a fellow blogger, I often look to you guys for that push when I am feeling sluggish, or can’t get “He Said” to get off his ass and give me a replay! (In fact, he refuses to even go on Facebook and makes fun of me for being such an addict.)
Keep up the AWESOME job! You pick all my favorite authors, and I think we all have a little Chelsea Handler in us (including the vodka for me)!
Ever your loyal reader,
She Said
Correction – give me a “reply” – see what I get for being a lazy writer! :)
Carolyn-isn’t that what the iPhone is for?
She Said- First, LOVE your blog! WE are huge fans! Second, how can HE SAID “not” be on Facebook!?! Majuh problem. Ha!
Liz,
LOVED this one–hilarious! All of us need diversions otherwise we’d be working in a factory doll.
My diversion? Shopping. In fact, I’m heading right upstairs from my Mall of America offices to do a little retail therapy when I should be pitching CNN to come and cover our Vikings cheerleader tryouts!
Thanks Julie!!! Thank god I don’t work anywhere near that kind of shopping. That would be major trouble!!!! Xoxo
Carolyn, I think we all have one of these facebookers on our friend list! Xo
She Said,
Thanks!!! And my husband sounds just like “he said”. One of those people who think they are too good to be addicted to FB! And I agree, I think there’s a little Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang in all of us!!! Xo
You were right on target with these characterizations ! But I would like to add one more – I personally have a problem with the “I’m too cool and have a life so I look down on anyone who joins Facebook” people. I think that they are just afraid that no one would want to be their friend. :)
Facebook and Twitter are definitely my distractions and diversions. While they can be fun and its often inspirational to follow authors, it does detract from my ‘doing stuff’ time.
Love this! You nailed it with those FB profiles. I think I need to be Internet free to write, but I can’t break my addiction!
I’m distracted by “The Book” ALL DAY LONG! I even posted a status update once that stated, “I’m using FB as my distraction from all parental duties right now.”.
I do find that TMZ.com and People.com are helpful in the distraction department too. I mean it’s much better to see what Jessica Simpson is wearing then make make my sons school lunch any time!
Whenever I need to do work on the computer, I always end up on my blog, which, of course, leads me to reading other blogs for hours. Facebook, however, is a very close second in my list of diversions.
Mary–totally agree!
Jen–can totally relate to what you’re saying!
Sarah- no way I could give up the net!
Michelle- No reason to feel bad about any of it! “The Book” can get the best of all of us!
Pink Blog Girl- Your own blog is a completely acceptable diversion!
This is so true. I hate, hate the peeps who talk politics and the Debbie downers. My bff is a Debbie downer and she drives me insane. But only on facebook. :)
Sorry for the delay…I can totally identify! after workign crazy hours to meet the tax deadline, I am now required to focus on reviews which I. HATE. so I’ve been having trouble focusing because I am having an affair. My current focus is torn between FB stalking and planning for the next half marathon. Notice I didn’t say “training” for the next half marathon. It is less than 2 week away and lets face it, not likely to break a record. So I am however, fully focused on making a fashion statement! Ebay shopping, finding the next big deal for shoes, hats, water bottles in the CUTEST colors.
Needless to say … I identify with your predicament! wanna help me shop?? ;0)
I love reading your blog! It always makes me smile!
Wait…spending an hour on Facebook and Twitter doesn’t boost creativity? Whoops…
My least favorite type of FB friends are the ones who constantly bait their sycophants with status updates — i.e. “I hope I look okay at that big/fancy/important event I’m going to tonight,” so that their friends respond with “You *always* look amazing!” or “You are the most beautiful woman alive!” Barf. Drives me nuts.
Dana, well, I guess we *could* say it boost creativity….maybe I was trying to justify my time by blogging about it!
Thanks Michele! xo
Thanks Juana! And I would LOVE to shop with you, yet another divine diversion…
Good luck on the half-marathon! I know you’ll kick ass whether or not you take one step before the big day!
Jennifer, isn’t it funny how you can love someone in real life who dries you nuts on Facebook?
Jennifer, isn’t it funny how you can love someone in real life who drives you nuts on Facebook?
Thanks Sarah! I’m so addicted. In fact, right now I should be reading my kids books. I keep telling them to start without me and then they remind me that they don’t know how to read. *sigh*
Michelle, People.com can do that to ya!
Jen, Totally with ya. I tend to Facebook when faced with any sort of deadline!
Mary, ugh, I can’t stand it when people pretend they are too good for Facebook!!! But those are the people who get most addicted when they finally cave in and join!
Lisa, Now you know my *big* secret!!! And I never believed for one second that you were farming in Farmville!
Michelle, yes distraction does equal procrastination! And how did you get a Crackberry with a disco light display? Do tell!
Thanks so much! We’re glad someone out there enjoy me and Lisa’s constant banter! xoxo
Oh my….my writing diversions are: Facebook (of course), Chick Lit is not Dead (of course!), Twitter (when I’m in the mood), the 300 shows sitting on my DVR like LOST (God, I’m SO lost!), Glee, American Idol (LOVE Lee D – he’s freakin’ HOT!), working on other people’s fabulous books so I don’t have to even think about finishing my own, the SheKnows book club, and reading anything and everything by Chelsea Handler – she’s SO funny!
I just remembered another FB User that drives me crazy. The “Friend Collector”. They have no intention of ever communicating with anyone, just want to see how many friends they can acquire. They then publish countless stupid updates just to load up your wall while fishing for more conquests.
Mary, yep, I have a few of those too! =)
CLP, I agree on all counts!!! xoxo
CONGRATS TO PINK BLOG GIRL, JUANA AND CARRIE STEFFES. You’ve each won a copy of Chelsea Handler’s latest!!! Thanks to all who commented! xoxoxo L&L
Hilarious! I definitely go thru cycles of facebook bulimia. The problem I have with it is that its hard not to feel bad about yourself when everyone’s life looks so fabulous (even though I’m sure 98% of the time its a sham). So the times when I log in, I post what I have to and run like a bandit!
Sex in alphabet city- Don’t feel bad! Be true to your Facebook alter ego. And BTW, a lot of it has to be a sham! C’mon!
Haha…too funny…I am definitely a FB bulimic. As in most things in life, I am an “all or nothing” kind of gal. I guess this can be good in some sense because I can get a lot done in a short time frame but then when I’m away and things pile up on me, it can get pretty overwhelming to get back to them. I may get inspired by a funny picture, a message, a contest and then you’ll see me update my status, chat with friends, look for new friends or just wander the site aimlessly…but then I could be gone from FB for months! My FB page like a ghost town! Great list..you’re right on with the Top 5 FBers…it was great…in facat, maybe I’ll scoot over to my FB page now…I said “maybe”…Thanks:)
Cathy,
I think a lot of people are just like you. In fact, I think I’m the only facebook whore in my entire family, even after I’ve peer pressured them to get on more. But it can be a total time suck. Thanks so much for the comment! Xoxo