Kids? What Kids?
Three babysitters.
Five months of planning
A ten page long to-do list.
Four days of child-free bliss in a foreign country
Remember the days when all you needed to get away was a passport and some vacation time? My hubs and I used to pride ourselves on perfecting the “last-minute” vacay, trying to prove that we were just too cool to actually plan our long weekends in advance. And maybe booking a flight to Vegas that was departing in two hours gave me a slight adrenaline rush. (Well, that and knowing I’d be screaming BLACKJACK! in three hours.)
But all those things changed the day we had children.
Now, we practically have to set up a tactical control center in order to have a child-free weekend. The Oscars have been put on with less planning (and it shows!) than our recent trip across the border. Okay, so maybe purchasing an earpiece and a mic to speak into while coordinating the school drop-off and picks ups was a bit too much. But I’d like to think that my to-do list would’ve brought even the biggest A-lister to their knees. I was determined to board my Mexicana flight with a margarita in hand and not a care in the world. (Well, except for the fact that we were flying Mexicana. But that’s a whole other blog.)
But things didn’t go exactly according to plan. But, no worries, we were still able to have quite the fiesta(and more importantly, a siesta) in the lovely city of Cabo San Jose.
And because I’m such a giver, I’d thought that I would give y’all some tips for the next time you’re stupid brave enough to have the balls to actually try to have some time to yourself:
1. Try to schedule as many people to watch your children as possible. Because nothing says “I Love You” to your kids more than passing them off to THREE different caregivers during a four-day period.
2. Make sure that at least one childhood milestone happens while you are away. It’s fine. I didn’t want to see that first tooth come out anyway-too much blood and crying for me. And that lame movie starring The Rock totally ruined the whole Tooth Fairy thing for me anyway.
3. Book a resort that has spotty cell phone reception Because nothing makes you want to party down more than when you can’t figure out whether your children actually made it to school. And squeezing yourself in between the TV console and sliding glass door in order to get one bar of cell reception after eating a pound of chips and guacamole is just unflattering. Trust me.
4. Spend more on the trip than the babysitters Thankfully, our resort was serving up fourteen dollar margaritas or this might not have happened. Whew! That was a close one. A big shout out to Cabo Azul’s swim-up pool bar for helping us out!
5. When you DO find cell phone reception, make sure to phone when the children have no desire to speak with you. Because it really warms your heart when your five year-old screams “HI! BYE!” into the phone after you’ve just spent ten minutes trying to figure how the hell to dial 011 before your home phone number. (Or was that 001? Maybe that’s why it took 10 minutes. So confusing!)
Okay, there you have it! A big thank you to all the wonderful friends who watched our little rugrats so we could eat a meal that lasted longer than thirty minutes and actually digest our food. Thanks to you, they didn’t miss us at all! xoxoxo
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Sounds like sound advice to me, as always Liz. Glad you had a good time and got away!
You are hilarious! I think my favorite part is your reference to the Tooth Fairy. OMG did I HATE that movie. In hindsight, I would’ve rather had all my teeth pulled without Novocain than to have seen it. PS: I think it’s some kind of parental law that all major childhood milestones must happen when the parent is not present. :)
xoxo
CLP, Thanks! xo
Lisa, I know, I just watched Tooth Fairy for the first time this weekend. ugh!
LOL…I feel your pain! My hubby and I are planning a 4-day getaway in July for our anniversary and the planning has started already. We’re busy booking babysitters and planning which parent gets which children at what time. Thank goodness for Grandma’s!
The funny thing is that after all the planning and the covert getaway, we start missing those little rascals as soon as we get to where we’re going :)
Haha! I was hoping to find a good tip. Would you believe the nanny I have booked for Vegas next month had the nerve to tell me that she going to have to cancel because she just found out that is when her husband is going to be coming home from Haiti after 5 months. :-) No, I am really happy for her…now to find someone else to watch my kids while we all yell Balckjack!
If it makes you feel any better (and it probably won’t!) I’m going on a week and a half vacation with my boyfriend, and trying to arrange people to watch my dog is becoming a full fledged production! The only difference I foresee is (1) my milestones will be more along the lines of “what did your dog eat because that shouldn’t come out of a dog” and (2) my cell phone calls will consist of “did he go to the bathroom?! Did he play nice with other dogs?!” But thank goodness for those $14 margaritas!
Jonita, that is so funny, I’m the same way. I kept staring at all the families with kids at the pool, missing mine. They probably thought I was some weirdo!!!! Xo
Liz—OMG can I relate! We took our first “major” trip –by that I mean getting on an airplane–by ourselves for our 5 year anniversary and I was so twisted, knotted and stressed that I didn’t calm down until well into my second drink on the second night! I was crazy though taping notes EVERYWHERE—lock the door between the house and garage, don’t cut the sandwich or they’ll freak out and my fave a calendar so they could mark off the dates (ingenious I thought!) was ripped to shreds when we got home because they were pissed that we were gone. I called 3 times a day to say good morning, good afternoon and good night and got the same, “Do you wanna talk to mommy?” “NO!”–because really, they were having so much fun. But it was so worth it because I became a zombie the rest of the week and now we go every year and can’t live without it. Us mommy’s need it for our sanity and for us we need to at least hear each others complete sentences once a year.
Jonita, how funny! I was the same way, all the parents at the pool were probably wondering why some strange lady kept staring at their kids! Thanks for the comment! xo
Heather, you better get cracking on that! I’m dying to see you in Vegas!!!
Kourtney, I totally get it! Before we had kids, I used to call and check on my dogs too-it’s hard work to find a good dog sitter! xo
Julie, LOL!!! I tape notes EVERYWHERE when we go out of town! My babysitters must think I’m A FREAK! But it makes me feel better. And I know, I hadn’t completed a sentence at home in weeks before my vacay! xoxo
Seriously feels like you wrote this about me. When Brian was deciding whether or not to go to Maui this year with the All Star trip, I was secretly sweating my proverbial balls off planning every last detail with regards to the kids. Their care, last days of school, the littlest’s nut allergy, blah, blah, & blah! Those two weeks without a decision, literally almost put me over the edge!
But now that I know the trip has been deferred to next year & we’ll be going to Barcelona, I’ve already started making lists in my head. A YEAR in Advance! It NEVER ends! And speaking of lists … I already have my “instructions” typed out for my parents for Friday night when we meet you for dinner. Not an overnight, just dinner. Ha! I am certifiable!!! Great Blog (as usual)! :)
Kenan, Thanks! You and your” proverbial sweaty balls” are cracking me up! And I so feel ya-I’d already be planning in the back of my mind if I was heading to Barcelona! And the nut allergy adds a whole new layer to it!
I think that there’s something about making lists ans writing notes that make us feel in control when we can’t be there. Or at least that’s what I tell myself! Can’t wait to see you Friday! xoxo
Interesting how our vacations change as we get older (and kids are introduced into the equation). Funny post.