Ask Liz & Lisa is baaaack! Thanks so much for all of the great Q’s you’ve sent so far. It’s been hard to choose just one to answer! Be sure keep ‘em comin’! Ask us anything! (Don’t be shy- you know how much we love to TMI with you!) Email your Q to asklizandlisa@chicklitisnotdead.com and if we pick your question, we’ll send you a fabulous book!
And today we picked a question from Wendy. Because we chose her Q, she’ll be receiving a copy of She’s Gone Country by Jane Porter. Feeling left out? Well you can leave a comment on this post and you’ll be entered to win a copy of Ten Beach Road by Wendy Wax. We’ll randomly select the winner after 6pm PST on Friday, June 24.
My question – and I am not sure if this has been asked before…
I know you guys have been friends, like.. forever. But… even best friends fight, right? So, have you ever or do you have times when you are not talking to each other? Have you had a difficult time in your friendship. Or has it all seriously been roses?
~Wendy @ wall-to-wall books
Roses. Hmm. Not so much. Yes, we’ve been friends for evuh and evuh. Since Milli Vanilli and Tiffany were topping the charts. Since Ice Ice Baby was a cool song (well since we thought it was a cool song). And when you’ve been friends with someone for that long, you’re bound to go through your ups and downs. And when you are BFFs, business partners and writing partners, there’s almost no avoiding the occasional conflict. Very recently, there were “words” over the word, synopsis. More on that in a minute.
But we will say that for us, it’s not the fact that we have conflict that matters. It’s how we deal with it. And let’s just say that process has evolved over the years.
The Bent thumb
In college, there was an argument over, gawd only knows what (a thumb war gone awry?), but someone’s thumb got bent back and someone else charged out of the house and hid out in a movie theater all day watching The Fugitive. And by some sort of weird foreshadowing, someone wrote a humorous story (complete with pictures!) and taped it on someone’s door as a peace offering.
The one-act play
While co-writing a one-act play for our theater class, we had a huge fight. We have no idea what the fight was over but it involved lots of expletives being thrown at each other and ended with something being actually thrown at Liz’s state of the art word processor. (Yes, you read that right-word processor- we are that old!)
The separation
We’d gone to high school together, we’d gone to college together. We were Vice-President and President of our sorority together. Let’s just say we’d been a little too close for a little too long. And we felt we’d merged into one person. Liz and Lisa, Lisa and Liz. Sometimes people just called both of us Lisa. So we agreed on the fact that we needed space. And we separated. And we did our own thing for a while. And when we eventually came back together, our friendship was stronger for it.
The door slam heard round’ the world
Someone was postpartum and someone had just been dumped and we thought it would be a FABULOUS time to write the query for our first book, I’ll Have Who She’s Having! Now let’s just that writing a query is a painful process even when the rest of your life is perfect. So imagine writing it when things are, well, not so perfect. We don’t remember what started it (are you starting to see a pattern here?), but all of the sudden someone stomped out of the house and SLAMMED the door with all her might, waking up someone’s husband and baby. Don’t worry, we worked it out and eventually finished that damn letter.
The word synopsis
Very recently, we disagreed about the word synopsis. One of us likes the word, one of us doesn’t. One of us insists on using it in just about EVERY post and one of us thinks it’s impersonal. Then one of us thought that the best way to communicate her problem was to EMAIL the other about it. (I think you can see where this is going…) Cue four tense emails, a ten minute girlfight over the word synopsis followed by ten minutes of laughing about how freakin’ LAME it was to be arguing about it.
So no, it isn’t all roses. But the difference for us is that we are able to let things go. And it also helps to know the other person better than you know yourself. But the most important thing to remember is to just take a deep breath and LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF at the silly things that seem so important in the heat of the moment.
xoxo, L&L





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Wow, you guys have a wonderful friendship. I’m quite jealous.
Thamk you so much for choosing my question!
Your answers are great!
First of all – I am THAT old too! I remember Ice Ice Baby and Milli Vanilli and I don’t like to admit that I actually liked them back then.
Well I am glad to see that you are both human and have your differences. And I am glad you are still friends and can still write great books!
These girl fight stories are hilarious! I myself had a similar situation with my best friend. Courtney and I met at college orientation and from that point on we literally never left each others side. We were the same major, enrolled in the same courses, joined the same business fraternity, lived together, and shared the same friends. People truly refer to us as one person. There have been so many scenarios where we have fought over one of us thinking the other one is upset. In the end you just have to look back and laugh at the situations. I wouldn’t have it any other way!
xoxoxo
Missy
Nice to see friendships that have lasted so long and weathered the storms. Congrats!
Great post!!!!
I had a girl fight that involved politics that ended the friendship. Lesson learned.
That’s the way a friendship should be!
funny stories, all friendships and relationships have their ups and downs, don’t they!!
it’s great to see that you are still friends after all the years!
Ask L&L are my favorite posts, and this didn’t disappoint! I’m still giggling over the word processor and bent thumb. Priceless!
How blessed you both are to have each other through thick and thin! Here’s to good friends!
Great post!!! Your stories always make me smile and I love the way you tell them!!!
Haha, good for you guys to be able to have your friendship last so long! Sometimes a little separation can be a huge help!!
Which college and which sorority ?
Love the stories!!! It’s good someone always had the sense to laugh at it all.
I couldn’t agree with you more!!! My best friend and I have been friends for 8 years now. He is also my roommate so I know him very well. We will be screaming at each other one moment and not even 5 minutes later we are laughing together. That is the key to a great friendship, don’t sweat the small stuff. And most things are pretty small.
Thanks for the great question Wendy! xoxo
Missy, I know, right? The things we get so worked up about seem silly later.
Thanks Wanda!
Thanks Sarah!
Kimmi, um, yeah, that’s why Lisa and I NEVER talk politics!!!
Thank you Nancy! xoxo
Nina, oh yes they do…but the best ones always come full circle eventually.
Thanks Jonessa!
Thea, that was a ROCKING word processor, I’ll have you know!
Jeannette, Cheers! xoxo
Meg, thank you so much!!! xoxoxoxo
Nina, yes, for sure-I think we really needed that break after college to get our heads on straight!
Mary, Kappa Delta at Cal Poly Pomona in California.
Thanks Jane! xoxo
Betsy, He? Hmmm…do I hear some “When Harry Met Sally” going on here?
Brenda, Thanks! and don’t be jealous, we bug the shit out of each other sometimes….lol!
Hi Liz & Lisa,
I so love this story. I actually worked with my best friend so we were together all day (we even worked in the same department). However I had just become engaged and asked her to be my maid of honor. She obviously told everyone in the office that she couldn’t stand up for me (but I was completely clueless). She finally did tell me and I was devastated. I wanted to call off the wedding because I was so upset. My Dad even offered to pay for my fiance and I to go to Hawaii to get married. I wanted my family to be with us on our most important day. In the end my sister-in-law stepped up to be there for me.
Both of you are such an inspiration because now that I look back it was foolish to let a great friendship end over something so trivial (of course I didn’t think so at the time). Thanks to both of you for opening my eyes. Who knows maybe we can actually be friends again.
I love this! I have a best friend Alice & we’ve been friends forever practically! She & I met in 5th grade & she & I knew from the very beginning that we’d be friends forever! we did take little breaks but it’s strong enough that we’re still together today! I’m glad I found you too & I’m going to let her know too.
My question is have you ever fought over how you raise your kid(s)?
Kelly,
Wow, I’m so sorry that happened to you! And I’m a firm believer that great friendships can always be rekindled-forgiving someone is the best gift you can give yourself! Hope it works out! xoxoxoxo
Thanks Lisa S! In answer to your question, not really, but I think only because they are pretty far apart in age(mine are 4 & 6, her’s is barely 6 months). But I always treat parenting views the same way I treat politics-don’t argue about it with your friends-it can get ugly!!! xo
Hey gals, I just posted my review of your new book!!!
Come check it out!
OOOPS I was signed in under my other blog!
Sorry now you can check out the review! LOL
Wendy, thanks for the great review!!! xoxo
Congrats to queenthea@gmail.com! She just won a copy of TEN BEACH ROAD by Wendy Wax! Thanks for all your awesome comments! xoxo
I loved reading this! My best friend and I get into what we call 5-minute fights. Happened more so when we were roomies, and I recall stomping the longest way through the house to avoid her one night where she opened my bedroom door, yelled at me for trying to avoid her then we did shots to call a truce. (What! It was my birthday that night too, lol)