New host Angela Lindvall and "fashion expert" Miss Piggy

Liz here. I think y’all know I have a hard time with the word NO. But it’s especially true when it comes to my DVR-I just can’t say no to all those shiny and new Fall shows.  But there’s always a few that get dumped before I even watch one episode, (sorry 2 Broke Girls!) and a few that I can’t WAIT to sink my teeth into each week (Helloooo Once Upon A Time).

But just like any relationship, sometimes things go sour with even the best of shows.

You know how it is-things start off and you’re just so excited to see them.  You think about them when they’re not around, you talk about them incessantly to anyone who will listen.  You may even get irrationally angry when others block you from seeing them. (Um, yeah, sorry about that, Mike!) Then, things may start to cool off a little.  They seem to get comfortable and stop caring about how they look.  Or maybe they start trying a bunch of new things that, well, are LAME.  All of a sudden it’s been two, maybe three weeks since you’ve seen them. And before you can say Queer Eye For the Straight Guy, your former favorite show has become (gasp!) irrelevant!

And yes, Project Runway, I’m talkin’ to you.  Like Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, Chuck and Lost before you, I’m thinking of dumping your ass.

I LOVED Project Runway.  Like put the kids to bed, order sushi and force my husband to watch, LOVED it.  Christian Siriano made my heart sing and Mondo’s F’ed up patterns intrigued me. I didn’t even mind that Heidi Klum seemed to be pregnant every fucking season.  Hell, I even stuck with them when they moved over to Lifetime without High Def  TV and watched that terrible Models of the Runway spinoff!  Because even though I could barely see what the hell they had made without HD, I didn’t care.  I was there for the DRAMA. So when they announced Project Runway All-Stars, I was jumping up and down with joy.

All my fave designers!  In ONE show!  How could they go wrong? How could they mess up PERFECTION?

Well, they did. Let me count the ways…..

But wait, before we get into all that, I’ve got a copy of Gunn’s Golden Rules by Tim Gunn.  Just leave a comment and I’ll choose a lucky winner on Sunday January 29th after 6pm PST.  Good luck!

WHY I’M JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU(ANYMORE):PROJECT RUNWAY

1. The poor man’s Heidi Klum Where the F is Heidi Klum and who is this imposter they have hosting the show?  I sincerely hope that she’s not as uncomfortable being on TV as I am watching her on it. Make the cringing stop. Please. And she doesn’t even say that German bullshit at the very end when the designer gets kicked to the curb.  WTF! 

And while we’re on the subject of Miss Klum, so freakin’ bummed to hear about her and Seal.  I really was buying in to their whole perfect relationship thing. *cue mental image of Seal serenading Heidi with Kiss From a Rose each night*

2. The New Judges Where is my boyfriend Micheal Kors and his barbs?  Nina Garcia’s knowing smirk? And Isaac Mizrahi as a replacement?  Really? That’s the best you could come up with? And don’t even get me started on the fact that MISS PIGGY was a guest judge last week. Because she’s a fashion EXPERT. Come on!

3. That British chick Okay, what the hell happened to Tim Gunn and who is this bitchy Brit with the bad haircut?  Her utter disdain while in the workroom makes me uncomfortable. And not in a good Real Housewives of Atlanta sort of way.

4. The Designers Between April’s gray hair and Austin Scarlett’s scarf and bolo fixation, I’m not feelin’ my fave designers.  Where is Kenley’s cattiness? Why isn’t anyone talking shit on Michael? When did Rami learn to do something other than draping? Where is the DRAMA?  Do they really think we actually tune in for the designs?  Jesus, I haven’t been able to see them clearly anyway the last few years!

5. High Definition TV  Sooooo…the lesson here is to be careful what you wish for.  I lamented the last three seasons about the lack of HDTV on Lifetime.  But little did I know how disconcerting it would be to actually see my favorite designers so UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL.  Did Mila always look so sweaty in the workroom? Was Kenley’s lipstick always that red?  Did Micheal’s eyebrows look like that before? It’s creepin’ me out.

So I’m sorry Project Runway, it’s been real.  But I just moved you below Spongebob on my DVR playlist.  And we all know what that means-You’re out. Auf Wiedersehen!  Oh, and Top Chef?  I’m officially putting you on notice.

What about you?  Any shows you are dumping this season?  Tell me!

xoxo, Liz

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

It’s that time of year again. Time for my so-called resolutions.

I found myself, New Years morning, fingers poised on my keyboard as I tried to write an Facebook-worthy resolution status.  The usual suspects came to mind, I’m going to me more positive, I’m going to lose ten pounds, etc…And even though there were tons of things I wanted to improve about myself (hello, self hate!), I had a damn hard time coming up with something Facebook worthy.  The only thing that made me feel better?  I had finally learned how to spell the word resolution without using spell check.  Check that off the 2011 list please!

But after some very deep soul searching, I’ve come up with my 2012 list. And I want to hear about yours too!  Leave me a comment and I’ll enter you to win an ARC of Spin by Catherine McKenzie.  I’ll choose the winner on January 15th after 6pm PST.

LIZ’S SO CALLED 2012 RESOLUTIONS

1. Make more time for the things I love Is there an available fairy godmother out there?  Because I need to make a few more hours in the day. I struggled in 2011 to find time to write-something I’m determined to change in 2012.  One step in the right direction?  The BOSE noise cancelling headphones I got last month.  They’re so awesome that the house could be F’ing burning down around me and I wouldn’t hear shit.  But, at last I’ll finally have that peace and quiet I’ve been craving to get some writing done.

2. Get my funny back Where the F*CK has it been? I blame a lack of trashy reality TV watching on my part-something I vow to correct ASAP. (You hear that, Dance Moms?)  And anyway, considering this is an election year, I’m going to need all the funny I can get! *cue a million ridiculously annoying campaign ads*

3. Read MORE  Yes, gi-normous TBR pile, I’m talking to you. I’m going to make you my bitch in 2012.  Consider yourself warned.

4. Get in shape    *snorts*  I know, I know.  But if you count carrying three grocery bags on each arm once a week weight training, then at least I’m doing something, right?

5. Skip the fad diets Last month, that freakin’ HCG diet made me a horrible, hungry ogre who wanted to gnaw on her husband’s arm like a hambone.  And those annoying people who claimed they were NEVER HUNGRY while on it?  LIARS!!!  Instead? I downloaded Net Diary, an AWESOME app that helps you track your calories.  The anal type-A control freak in me is jumping up and down that I can count every single morsel that enters my mouth in 2012.  Except for that BLT with avocado my drunken alter ego devoured at 1am in Vegas last weekend.  But let’s just pretend that never happened….

Bonus so-called resolution: 

Finish our next book- This one’s easy.  At almost 40,000 words and a writing retreat coming up later this month, we should be ready to shop it by March.  Want a quick peek at the premise?  Hmmm…All I’ll say is that it’s about two childhood best friends who get themselves in a sticky situation and it’s called The Toast. You’ll have to wait on the rest!

*raises glass* Here’s to a great 2012!  I hope it’s your best year EVER!  xoxo, Liz

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

Last month, something terrible happened. It was a day I had dreaded, but thought I had months, possibly years before I had to deal with it.  A day where childhood dreams would be shattered and the shit would hit the fan.

My seven year-old figured out that Santa Claus is a fraud.

On her own.  Believe me, I practically used CIA interrogation techniques to try to figure out who had ruined it for her.  I was nine when my older brothers dropped the bomb.  I’ll never forget where I was(the backseat of my parent’s hugeass yellow Buick, rolling around with no seatbelts) or the disbelief I felt when they told me.  But even after seven rounds of questioning, Riley still insisted that she just suddenly realized that the whole Santa Claus thing didn’t make sense. And I was all at once totally bummed and secretly proud of my little PI Spice.

So imagine me, caught like a deer in headlights at her declaration.  Thinking I had plenty of time to think about this day, I had NO IDEA how to react.  Do I deny? Run into the garage and pull out Twas The Night Before Christmas to build my case? Bring out that pesky Elf on the Shelf? Go to that freakin’ web site that stalks Santa all year?

Yes, those all would have been grand ideas had I thought of them at the time. Instead, I just dumbly nodded my head and said, how did you figure it out?

The thing is, I just didn’t want to lie to her about it.  Now, listen, I’m not judging people that stretch the truth about Santa Claus to keep things going for a few years longer. In fact, part of me wishes I had done that too.  It’s just that I’m always on their little asses about telling the truth and, well, it felt hypocritical to fib about Ole St. Nick.

But then, I totally panicked. My five year-old son and ALL of Riley’s first grade friends were still living in holiday dreamland. (Oh, because in case you were wondering, the Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy true identities were unveiled as well) And the last thing I needed was Riley spilling the beans at school and having every mom this side of the 405 freeway ready to beat my ass.  So after much threatening discussion, it was decided that this would stay our little secret.  And to my surprise, she’s been very discreet. *breathes a huge sigh of relief*

Truth be told, I’m a bit bummed that the magic wore off so early.  Christmas just doesn’t seem the same this year. Even as the least nostalgic person around, I wish I could have had just one more year to see that Santa sparkle in her eye. But it’s also been a good teaching opportunity on how she can play Santa for other people-we grabbed a letter to Santa from Operation Santa Claus this year, and not only did she help pick and wrap all their gifts, she also pledged her own money to help bring the magic of Santa to a family that’s had a tough year.  And helping others, in my humble opinion, is truly the reason for the season. Okay, I’ll stop now. *steps off soapbox*

And there are some other benefits to Riley knowing that Santa’s a fraud…

1. She’s much better at hiding that freakin’ Elf on the Shelf. I basically just moved him back and forth between three places.  Now he changes rooms, brings candy and visits Santa each night rather than a few times a month like he’s done in years past. Although I did catch him in a compromising situation with Barbie and Ken last week that I’m going to assume was unintentional.

2. I’ll finally get a good Santa picture.  With the pressure totally off, I’m sure I’ll get that dazzling smile I’ve been desperate for the past SEVEN years.

3. When she calls me Mrs. Claus, I don’t think it’s because I just ate too many holiday cookies and drank too much eggnog.

4. She’s better behaved.  Girlfriend knows that Santa was much more forgiving than me when it comes to the naughty list.

5. She finally understands why has Santa ignored her plea for a pony each year and wisely left it off her list this time.

Happy Holidays!  Hope you have a FABULOUS time celebrating with your loved ones!

xoxo, Liz

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

We love this time of year!  Warm hats, scarves, sassy boots and a reason to curl up by the fire with a good book and drink hot chocolate.  And it’s been a great year here at CLIND-we’ve had so many fantastic authors on and have enjoyed every single one. (Thank you authors!) We also launched our own e-book, The D Word and relaunched I’ll Have Who She’s Having this past June-Thanks for all your support-we truly appreciate each and every one of you.

We also read a shitload of books in 2011.  And there were so many wonderful ones that making a short list was was VERY difficult.  In fact, Lisa and I had such a hard time deciding that we each decided to come up with our own list.  Look for her’s later this week!

And what kind of end-of year post would this be without an AWESOME giveaway?  Leave a comment and you’ll be entered to win a BUNDLE O’ BOOKS that includes novels from Cecelia Ahern, Josie Brown, Jenny Nelson and Joanne Rendell, among others!  Check out the picture below to see all TEN books the winner will receive. We’ll choose the winners on Monday December 26th after 6pm PST.

Leave a comment to win ALL of these books!

So without further adieu, here’s my list.  And don’t forget to tell me what YOUR fave novels of 2011 were!

LIZ’S TOP BOOKS OF 2011

1. Girls in White Dresses by Jennifer Close I read this debut while on vacay in Hawaii over the summer and let’s just say that I’m pretty thankful neither of my kids drowned while I was engrossed of this witty, refreshing tale of a group of friends after they graduate from college and struggle with heartbreak and career changes, all while attending endless bridal showers. A MUST read if you were a big SATC fan-the narrative really captures the spirit of Carrie & co.  It’s not too late to pick this up for your stocking!

2. The Art of Forgetting by Camille Noe Pagan Another great debut!  When Marissa’s BFF Julia gets hit by a cab and suffers brain damage, it changes the dynamic of their friendship forever. As Julia struggles to regain her memory, things come up that Marissa would much rather forget and things get a bit complicated.  A engaging story about friendship and forgiveness that I couldn’t put down.  I highly recommend you grab a copy for you and your bestie TODAY.  One of my favorite covers of the year too!

3.  Skipping A Beat by Sarah Pekkanen I. Loved. This. Book! As a self-delared emotional robot, I found myself bawling like a freakin’ baby during the last few chapters of this delightful novel.  When Julia’s husband Michael has a near-death experience, he rewrites the rules of their struggling marriage, forcing her to choose whether to stay and take a leap of faith or leave forever. Insightful but also with with a healthy dose of Pekkanen’s trademark humor, you won’t be able to put it down- I PROMISE!

4. The First Husband by Laura Dave When Annie’s long-time boyfriend suddenly leaves her, she rebounds with a vengeance, marrying a down-to-earth chef after three short months of dating. Soon Annie finds herself in a small Massachusetts town and wondering if she was too quick on the trigger.  When her ex returns and wants her back, things get really complicated…  Laura Dave is one of my fave writers, her narrative on love and life always hits home and The First Husband is no exception.  I devoured this book in four hours flat-a new record for me. The perfect gift to give yourself this season!

5. Best Kept Secret by Amy Hatvany Cadence thought she had it all-good job, successful husband and adorable son-until her marriage went off the rails and the stress of single motherhood drove her to start drinking heavily. It’s only when her five-year old son is taken away that she realizes that her best kept secret has been discovered. Will she ever be able to find her way back and earn back the trust she’s lost? Honest and thought-provoking, I promise you’ll be thinking of Cadence long after you finish this fantastic book.

And one YA bonus pick!

Y’all know I have love for those young adult novels…here’s my fave of 2011.

Bumped by Megan McCafferty- When a virus makes everyone over the age of eighteen infertile, things get a little bit CRAZY.  Would-be parents pay top dollar for teens to conceive and carry babies, making them the most prized citizens in society-and the most genetically blessed are in the highest demand and considered celebrities. I LOVED this book-very high concept about the business of having babies, and our increasing desire for genetic perfection. I’m anxiously awaiting a sequel!

Thanks for such a great year and here’s to a wonderful 2012!  Don’t forget to leave a comment to be entered to win a BUNDLE O’ BOOKS!  xoxo, Liz

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

There are only, count ‘em, 10 days until Christmas (WTF? Where has the time gone?). And whether you’re looking for e-Books to load onto your own e-Reader (hey nothing wrong with giving yourself a gift-or in this case 3-this holiday!) or you want to give them as gifts, we’ve got a list of the e-Books everyone should read this holiday. The best part? Not only are they fab, but each one is available for less than 5 bucks!

Blue Straggler by Kathy Lynn Harris. We loved this LOL funny, breezy, yet poignant read about a 30-something single girl living in Texas (and the cover is fantastic too!).

Here’s the skinny on Blue Straggler: From the quirky, memorable characters who make up Bailey Miller’s circle of family and friends to that feeling of your makeup sliding right off in the humidity. Readers will easily identify with Bailey’s sometimes humorous, often semi-tragic, choices that eventually lead her out of Texas, to a small mountain town in Colorado, and back. Along the way, she searches for not only herself but also answers to long-held secrets from her “legitimately unbalanced” great-grandmother’s past. Bonus: She may even find love with a moody mountain man along the way.

Another bonus?: If you leave a comment, you’ll be entered to win one of five e-copies of Blue Straggler! We’ll randomly select the winners on Sunday, December 18th after 6:00p.m. PST.

To find out more about Kathy Lynn Harris, visit her website.

Growing Up Beautiful by Lori Jones.  This juicy glimpse into the inside world of modeling is a page-turner. (Jones own sixteen year modeling career definitely lends authenticity to the novel). And it’s told from the alternating POV’s of three models (you know we’re suckers for a multiple narrative!) In a word, you will LOVE.

Here are the deets on Growing up Beautiful: In the summer of 1986, three young American women are chosen to join a modeling agency in Europe’s fashion capitol of Milan.United as roommates by chance, Star, Joanne and Casey soon find their dreamed-of careers as models taking paths as different as their personalities. Star, who leaves behind her waitress job along with a handful of crumpled up dollar tips, sees her beauty as a way move to the top of Milan’s social strata.Joanne, raised in a privileged lifestyle, is expected to continue an Ivy League education, which doesn’t interest her as much as a young photographer she meets on a casting.Casey is a naïve seventeen year old who is ready for adventure, even the dangerous kind.Together, these three learn the funny, unexpected and sometimes ugly truths about growing up beautiful.

Just leave a comment and you’ll be entered to win one of five e-copies of Growing Up Beautiful! We’ll randomly select the winners on Sunday, December 18th after 6:00p.m. PST.

To find out more about Lori Jones, visit her website.

Stay Tuned by Lauren Clark. As a former TV news producer and anchor, Clark nails this novel. It’s fast-paced, entertaining and gives you a deliciously voyeuristic look at the behind the scenes drama that goes on in a newsroom!

The scoop on Stay Tuned:  For TV producer Melissa Moore, crisis management comes with the job. From employee meltdowns to her high-maintenance boss, there’s not much she hasn’t seen or can’t handle. But no one—including Melissa—expects a fistfight during the ten o’clock news. When sexy-but-crazy Alyssa Andrews lands a punch on her co-anchor’s face, Melissa jumps on set to help. She’s determined that WSGA’s reputation won’t be destroyed on her watch.Both anchors are fired and Melissa agrees to fill in—but not before polishing her look from haircut to heels. While the new Melissa wows WSGA viewers, her personal life begins fraying at the edges. Melissa’s husband is away more than he’s home, leaving cryptic Post-it notes in his wake. Her mother’s antics spiral out of control at the nursing home and a stalker makes Melissa her next target.

What happens next? Stay Tuned…

And leave a comment to win one of five e-copies of Stay Tuned! We’ll randomly select the winners on Sunday, December 18th after 6:00p.m. PST.

Watch the trailer for Stay Tuned here. To find out more about Lauren Clark, visit her website.

Thanks, Kathy, Lori and Lauren!

xoxo,

L&L

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

Today’s the day!  I’m jetting off to Chitown to meet Lisa’s new bundle of joy.  It’s been three long weeks since she arrived and I can’t wait to see them both!  Lisa’s excited for my arrival, but mostly because I promised to be her bitch for the next four days.

Cooking?  I’m her Top Chef! Cleaning? I can do things with a mop you’ve never seen before! Poopy Diapers?  I handle that shit like no other!

But I have a small confession to make.

I’m not a baby person.

Before you get all Judgey Mcjudgerson on me, it’s not that I don’t like babies.  I just don’t LOVE them the way many of my girlfriends do.  While y’all sit there goo-goo and ga-gaing over the blobs babies, I’m admiring them from a few feet away.  And while you might beg to babysit that screaming gurgling love bug, I’ll be the one to help mom escape to have her first glass of wine in ten months. So you see, I’m not a baby hater, more like a baby liker.  That’s okay, right?

And the funniest part?  Babies LOVE me.  It’s like that whole wanting what you can’t have thing starts at a very young age because I’ve got MAJUH game with the under one set.  They reach for me, fall asleep on me, and are generally really f*cking happy when I’m holding them.

I haven’t broke the news to Lisa yet that I’m not going to goo-goo and ga-ga when I get there.  But I would think after 22 years of friendship that she knows I’m going to do my best Auntie work after age 2.  After all, she watched me muddle through the baby stages of both of my children-how can she NOT know?

But in honor of my visit, I thought I might try to become more baby-friendly.  So I’ve come up with a list of all the reasons why babies are the best.  *speaks into megaphone* Say it with me: BABIES ARE THE BEST! (Did that sound convincing?!!??)

WHY BABIES ARE THE BEST

1. A baby won’t tell me my new haircut makes me look like Dora the Explorer.  Or yell at me when I’m a few minutes late picking them up.

2. Babies still get excited by and appreciate my boobs.  Even if they just view them as a food source.  Whatevs.  I’ll take it.

3. Babies give me an excuse to nap during the day. (But do I still get to do that if it’s not my baby?)

4. They can be a conversation starter at Starbucks. Because nothing says talk to me like a baby in a bugaboo.

5. They give me an excuse to carry an extra ten pounds and scare my pregnant friends with delivery room horror stories.  Ripped vaginas! Bad C-sections!  And my personal favorite?  Pooping on the delivery table!

See?  Babies are the BEST!!!

What do you think?  Leave a comment and you’ll be entered to win one of TWO copies of The Inadequate Conception: From Barry White to Blastocytes: What your mom didn’t tell you about getting pregnant by Lori Green.  You can also check out her blog here.  I’ll choose a winner on Sunday night after 6pm PST.

xo, Liz

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

So far, I’m loving 2011.  I’m ROCKING those damn bangs like nobody’s business and Lisa’s bundle of joy arrived late last week. (More details from Lisa to come later this month-so all I’ll say is that both Mom and baby are healthy and gorgeous!)  The Bears are heading to the playoffs(this makes the hubs happy) and I’ve already lost those annoying Wii-induced 5 pounds that were giving me the worst muffin top EVEH. And we all know that it’s freakin’ IMPOSSIBLE to rock jeans with boots when you have muffin top.

So how did I lose them so quickly you ask?  Did I finally open up the P90X?  Did I decide to take the stairs?  Did I get swine flu?  Nope.  I lost the weight the old-fashioned way.

Stress.

Don’t worry-it’s not the things are going terrible and I can’t eat stress.  It’s more like I’m so busy that I can’t breathe or text or eat stress.  I knew 2011 was going to be crazy but it still knocked the wind out of me last week.  I found myself wishing for just one more hour in the day to get things done.  And when I fell into bed Friday night, I began daydreaming about what I would do with that hour.  Oh, the things I would get done! I would be so much nicer!  So relaxed!  Because let’s face it: An extra hour a day would keep the bitchface away. You know, that secret bitchface that lives inside all of us?  Don’t even try to pretend like you don’t have one.

And here it is, so just in case I actually ever get that extra hour-I’ll be ready!  Or maybe I’ll just play Wii. (Damn you Grandma and Grandpa for buying the kids that time suck!)

If I had an extra hour a day, I would….

1. Get a mani-pedi with extra massage. I’d even finally let them draw that flower on my toenail they’re always bugging me about.

2. Pour a huge glass of wine and watch the latest The Millionaire Matchmaker . (Did any of you see the one recently with the PR millionairess that looked like a crayola exploded on her face and the gold digger?  Dude! You. Must. Watch.)

3. Put on super cute workout clothes and pretend I was going to the gym and then find something else to do instead. Because it’s the thought that counts, right?

4. Take my new dog to an animal psychic. Because I just have to know why that bitch keeps running away.  She went from a cold animal shelter and horrible mange to belly rubs, treats, walks and two kids that worship the ground she walks on. I don’t know how to convey to her that it’s not getting any better than this.

5. Tackle my TBR pile. Oh Vey.  Super Mario Brothers has really set me behind on this one. But I have three ARCS that I’m excited to read in the next two weeks- Best Kept Secret by Amy Hatvany(out in July), The Violets of March by Sarah Jio(out April 27th) and Here, Home, Hope by Kaira Rouda(out in May).  Oh, and speaking of ARCS, you’re going to LOVE Sarah Pekkanan’s Skipping A Beat(due February 22).  I read it one day last month-I laughed, I cried, I loved it. Do yourself a favor and pre-order it.  And Leave a comment here to win an ARC of Sarah Jio’s The Violets of March!

6. Read the stack of Entertainment Weeklys sitting on my desk. Because drooling over Jake Gyllenhaal half-naked on the cover is not actually considered reading.

7. Learn how to bake. Because I’m tired of my daughter saying, Oh, Mommy! when I pull lopsided, burnt cookies out of the oven.

8. Shop by myself. I don’t care where.  Although for some reason I find Target very relaxing(until I get to the cash register and realized I’ve spent $200 and bought NOTHING I actually need).

9. Have happy hour with the girls. Because an hour with good friends, a Grey Goose dirty martini and an onion ring stack can make just about any problem melt away.

10. Have a conversation with my hubs that has nothing to do with snot, poop, time out, or Wii. Is that really too much to ask? And if I got an another hour, I might actually kiss him with some tongue.  In fact-let’s declare 2011 the year of the married make-out session! All I need is a shot of tequila to help me forget about all the other things I should be doing instead and I’m in!

What would YOU do with your extra hour? Leave a comment and you’ll be entered to win an ARC of Sarah Jio’s upcoming debut, The Violets of March.  I’ll pick the winners on Wednesday night after 6pm PST.  Good luck!

xoxo, Liz

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

The BANGS

I’m not gonna lie-I’m not too sad to say goodbye to 2010.  While it was a year with some awesome highlights(Lisa’s wedding and pregnancy, so many AWESOME authors and giveaways…), it was also a year of transition(new job, juggling blog and aforementioned new job and my daughter’s first year of kindergarten…).  And geez, could any more of my fave celebrity couples call it quits?  Even though there’s part of me that is sooo stoked my celebrity crush and complete HOTTIE Ryan Reynolds is single again, it always bums me out to see people throw in the towel.  And was I the only one that thought that Courtney Cox and David Arquette were going to make it for the long haul?

But what makes 2011 most special is Lisa’s special delivery-due ANY MINUTE.  I wish we lived in the same state so I could bring her over a casserole (Do people still do that anymore?) and a Xanax after the baby arrives.  Just kidding.  She really doesn’t like casseroles.

As you might have guessed, Lisa’s on maternity leave for the next month or so.  So since she’s not available, I made her New Year’s resolutions for her.  And I think I did a damn fine job, if I do say so myself!

Lisa’s New Year’s Resolutions

1. Get baby to sleep

2. Get myself to sleep

3. Mop floors. Again! (Did I mention her cleanliness obsession?)

4. Repeat above steps.

And me? On NYE, our family declared our resolutions for 2011.  My daughter resolved to try to be less annoyed by my son and my son resolved to stop using he words POOP and BOOTY in every single sentence. (See why she gets annoyed?)  And the hubs?  He resolved to win Streak for the Cash-the ESPN online contest that he’s obsessed involved with.

But what about me?  I mean, I’ve got a ton of shit to get done in 2011.  And that means I need more than just one resolution, right?  Right!

And speaking of resolutions, I have an advanced copy of Here, Home, Hope by Kaira Rouda -it’s a story about a woman resolved to make some major changes in her life.  It doesn’t come out until May but you can win it here!  Just leave a comment and you’re entered! I’ll choose the winners after 6PM PST on Friday night.

Liz’s 2011 Resolutions

1. ROCK my new bangs- So… I’m not sure what I was thinking last week.  But I’m going to make the best of it.

2. Get a literary agent- It’s been a long road but I have a feeling that 2011 is the year we go BIGTIME.  Or at least that’s what my spiritual counselor told me anyway.

3. Start P90X- Getting six pack abs is the least I can do after I forced asked my husband to meet some creepy guy from Craig’s List in the Walgreen’s parking lot so I could save $50 on it. Related resolution: Lose the five pounds I’ve gained sitting on my ass the past two weeks playing the Wii we got for Christmas. Damn you Super Mario Brothers! Related resolution #2: Come to terms with the fact that the Wii has brought out latent “gamer” tendencies in my husband that I had been previously unaware of. *gag*

4. Complete third manuscript- Oh, this one will be easy.  With Lisa’s new bundle of joy and my work schedule, I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to do this!  Besides, Lisa and I always work best together when she’s sleep-deprived and I’m overwhelmed. *cue girl fight*  I’m just kidding!  I’m actually really looking forward to getting back to writing again.  It will be like visiting an old friend I haven’t seen in a while.

5. Learn how to spell resolution-Seriously, what would I do without spell check?  And why do I want it to have two “u”s in it so badly? Clearly, I was absent the week it was on the spelling list.

Happy New Year to each and every and every one of you!  I hope all your dreams come true in 2011.

xoxo, Liz

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

Have you ever decided to take a leap of faith?  And when you did, have you ever fallen flat on your face?

When we spontaneously decided to sell our house this past Spring, we had champagne wishes and caviar dreams.  But six months later, we were still waiting for our happy ending…

It all seemed like such a great idea in the beginning.  Let’s sell the house that we’ve painstakingly remodeled for the past seven years. Yeah!  And then, let’s move into a RENTAL!  Because I’m sure we’ll be able to find a quaint little beach cottage to lease that will welcome with open arms our two hyper kids, two drooling dogs and stinky guinea pigs, right?

Um, maybe.  But we could worry about that later.  First, we needed to sell our house in this sh*tty market.  So after a weekend of stripping it of any defining picture(God forbid the prospective buyers see what we look like!) and shoving our closets full of anything that dared to reside on ANY surface, it was on like Donkey Kong.

I mean, who would be able to resist our hardwood floors and custom paint?  Our tiled yard with timed lights in the planter?  We had NO DOUBT that buyers would be in a bidding war faster than you could say Donald Trump.  Which is probably why we refused to listen when the local agent told us to list 30k lower than we did.  What did he know, right?

Um, apparently ALOT. Or at least a lot more than we did.

And by the time we finally swallowed our pride and lowered the price, it was too late.  We had already popped our proverbial cherry in the local market. Our listing had desperation written all over it and we were subjected to ridiculously lowball offers.  We were so OVUH!

And no amount of St. Joseph prayers, running horses pictures(don’t ask), or bowls of lemons could get our house-selling mojo going.  It. Was. Depressing.  Not to mention a huge pain in the ass to make the time each morning to both straighten my hair AND leave the house looking show-worthy with two kids under six. And did I mention that frizzy hair makes me cranky?

So after six months, we finally decided to throw in the towel. And I’m not gonna lie, the Type- A girl in me felt like a failure.  But as much as I had daydreamed of renting a little beach cottage and giving up the responsibility of home ownership, I also felt relieved to stay.  Or at the very least, to be able to have a damn picture of my kids on display and leave a dish in the sink occasionally!

But in the end, this control freak realized that some things in life are just out of your hands.  So, instead,  I’ve decided to focus on all the things I WON’T MISS about being on the market:

• Keeping my house looking like a f*cking museum.  You know it’s bad when you beg your five-year-old to watch another episode of Spongebob so she won’t pull out crayons and messy paints to make you a picture. *bad mommy*

• The feedback.  For some reason I took it personally when they hated on my galley kitchen or dogged my floorplan.  Why didn’t they just go ahead and tell me that my ass looked fat in those jeans too?

• The lovely agents who bring their clients back unannounced at 8pm to get “one last look” at the granite in our kitchen.  Because we always have everything under control at bath time, right? *cue VERY awkward twenty minutes involving naked children*

• The ego-bruising realization that no one thinks the ginormous surf mural in my daughter’s room is half as rad as I do. Um, hello!  Pink Surfboards!  What’s not to like?

• Open houses. For some reason, it bothers me that half the neighborhood has walked through my house. Like my house is some dirty slut with an STD that no one wanted. Like we’re the herpes house or something.

• The crazy paranoia.  I can’t tell you how many times I got to work and SWORE that I’d left my Hanky Pankys on my bedroom floor.  Hmmm…on second thought, maybe that would have made the house more appealing!

xoxo, Liz

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

I’m in a slump.  A writing slump.  After working like crazy on the The D Word and then battling our way through the query process I find myself a bit, um, unmotivated while we wait patiently for our dream agent to realize that we’re the next big thing in publishing.

So rather than pitching articles and brainstorming ideas in my spare time, I’ve been Facebooking with reckless abandon.  And RTing my face off on Twitter. And I even downloaded that Oprah tell-all biography to my Nook last week.  It was clear- I had officially hit my diversion rock bottom.

So when it came time to write about writing, I was perplexed.  Because besides this blog and a few other things, I haven’t been doing much writing at all this past month. (Unless you count Facebook status updates. I’ve been killing it over there!)  I picked up my trusty journal, dusted it off and opened it up to find only empty pages.  Where, oh where, had my inspiration gone?

So I did what any self-respecting blogger does in this situation.  I decided to write about why I’m not writing. My editing downfall.  My own version of internet crack.

Facebook.

Since spending so much time over on “The Book”(that’s what I like to call it), I’ve noticed a few things.  Or rather, a few types of Facebookers that make me shake my head, LOL, LMAO, ROTF or hit the “Hide” button.  Have you seen these people? Are YOU one of these people?  It’s okay if you are.  As a self-proclaimed Facebook whore, I’ll be friends with ya anyway.

1. The Facebook Bulimic

It’s all or nothing for this person.  You won’t hear a peep from them for two months and then BAM! They throw up all over your page, your pics and your status, then disappear as quickly as they came- not to be heard from until their next purge.  A “like” or even a “ha!” in between would go a long way. Consistency please!

2. The Embarrasser

I personally think there’s a little bit of this one in all of us.  I’ve posted my fair share of junior prom and GNO gone wrong pics.  But there are some people that won’t rest until every single picture from the 80′s and 90′s has been posted and tagged.  Until every bad fashion decision and aqua-net inspired hairstyle has been revealed. How many times do I have to defend my pre-tweezed eyebrows?  For the last time, I was going for that whole Brooke Shields look!

3. The Debbie Downer

I felt real bad the first time your kids got sick.  And it really sucked when you got that flat tire.  And when your flight was delayed I still was hoping you were just having a run of bad luck.  But when it never ended I realized you were Debbie Downer: Facebook edition and hit the “hide” button faster than you could say Farmville.

4. The Politician

Left, right or in the middle, I don’t want to talk politics on FB. I’m just there to check out if my exes moved on with someone hotter than me, not to watch “Meet the Press“.  And the ensuing political comment battles that go on?  Ugh. I’d rather be subjected to a million Mafia Wars posts. And that’s saying a lot. Can’t we all just get along?

5. The Non-Responder

I’m sad to say that my husband falls squarely into this category.  In fact, maybe I even over-Facebook in a misguided attempt to make up for his non-responsiveness.  Tag him in a old picture back when he had a mullet?  Never gonna say a thing.  Write a sweet nothing on his wall?  It will forever sit there untouched.  Give him a poke?  Nada.  Nothing.  Well, in Facebookland anyway.  It goes over much better in person at home. =)

What divine diversions do you indulge in? Leave a comment to be entered to win one of three copies of Chelsea Handler’s latest, CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG!

xoxo, Liz

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.