Note: this was not THE one-man band guy. Ours had a really hot mustache!

Our second writing retreat was last weekend in Huntington Beach, CA!

You might be wondering…why do we call it a retreat if we’re holed up in a hotel room for 48 hours, ahem, working.

(Or maybe that’s just our husbands!)

(And maybe we shouldn’t have tweeted so many pictures of the sunset from our ocean front balcony.)

Maybe the word retreat makes us feel better because it sounds like a place you go where the words flow freely, the ideas come full force and the characters rise off the page.

(And you won’t get in a knock-out-drag-out with your writing partner over a plot point.)

Here’s what we do know.

50,000 words are now written for our third MS. And we’re excited. Details to come soon, we promise…

And because you’re always so supportive, we’re giving away a $20 iTunes gift card. Just leave a comment to be entered to win. We’ll randomly select the winner on Monday, February 6 after 6pm PST.

So here’s what we learned. (Cause y’all know we always learn quite a bit- at these things. Most of which has very little to do with writing!)

1. You can listen to the same song on replay for forty-eight hours straight. Lisa would like to personally thank Debbie Gibson for the role she played. Who knew Lost in Your Eyes could be so inspiring! And Liz would like to thank Sarah Bareilles’ for her live rendition of Gravity. (Liz’s is so much cooler!)

(In Lisa’s defense, Debbie was bringing her back to that mind space she needed to be in- that high-waisted jeans and Strawberry Boons mind space. We’ll fill you in soon. Promise.)

2. You can survive on beef jerky for two days.

(And cheese and crackers.)

(And supermarket sushi.)

(But not rice chips- gag.)

And Lisa would just like to take this moment to thank gawd that Slim Jims were not involved this time. (See last retreat.)

3. A one-man band (with a mustache) can sound (and look) really good after a long day of writing

Fire pit. Check.

Glass of wine. Check.

One dude with a harmonica wedged between his lips, a guitar strapped across his body and a keyboard not far away- who can, and we repeat can channel Elton John-if you really listen. Check.

4. There is such a thing as service that is too good

Ring, ring. The light outside your hotel room door is flickering. Someone will be right up.

Ring, ring. We’d like to bring up two bite sized chocolates to put on your pillow.

Ring, ring. There’s a guy with a mustache singing tunes down by the fire. We’ll pay you to come down here.

Maybe we should’ve stayed at the Hampton Inn…

5. Everyone in California is gorgeous (When you live elsewhere.) Lisa had forgotten how good looking everyone is in SoCal. (Or the cold has frozen her brain and her judgement.) Either way, from the guys who parked the car to man at the front desk, every male looked like he stepped out of Surfer magazine and every woman like she just walked off a photo shoot. She especially wanted to explain to the incredibly hot and far too young for her-Abercrombie & Fitch model look-a-like- (a.k.a, the bell hop), I like men. I do, as he eyed her and Liz suspiciously as they rode up the elevator to their shared room.

xoxo,

Liz & Lisa

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

Blow up the balloons! Cue the streamers! Break out that bubbly- stat!  MaNiC MoMMy (a.k.a. Stephanie Elliot) is in ‘da house sharing the news about her short story, The Cell Phone Lot (available today!). It’s a fabulous, fast-paced and funny story about chance encounters. (We love the premise!) And not only is she here, but she’s taking over. We’ve given her the reins (which y’all know we don’t do that often) and told her to run this show.

So without further adieu, heeeere’s Stephanie!

Just one more thing–because you know we’re control freaks–she’s giving away 5 copies  of The Cell Phone Lot! Details below… Okay, we’re really leaving now. Promise!

Okay, really, we mean it this time, heeeere’s Stephanie!

The Cell Phone Lot is a short story I wrote between Christmas and New Year’s when my husband and I were flying from Arizona to Ohio to go to my grandmother’s funeral. Being at the airport just sparks imagination, and while there, I recalled a time I was waiting in a cell phone lot, and the idea snuck into my mind. The story came pouring out then, and I wrote these 65 pages really fast.

This little story is all about chance encounters, fate and taking risks in your life. And I truly do believe that every person we come in contact with has been placed in our “life timeline” for a reason, that nothing is random, and everything has a specific purpose. Whether it is to cheer someone up in line while waiting at the post office, to offer a suggestion to a new mother at the park, or to meet your soul mate, I think every contact we make with another human being is purposeful and with reason.
This is what I believe fate to be.
When I met my husband, I was 20 and he was 21. We were both attending Northern Illinois University. I was heading out with my roommates to go to the bar we frequented. It was a Friday night, early, like 6 p.m. and we usually didn’t go out that early. We wanted to get there to grab a table, but the bar was packed because of some fraternity event.

So we were waiting around until a table opened up, drinking our dollar drafts (yes, back then they only cost one dollar!). A table opened up and two football players went for the same one we were eyeing. I didn’t care for football at all, wasn’t impressed that the guys were big football jocks, but I wanted to get a table, and one of the guys was kind of cute. We argued with them a bit that we got to the table first, and then the five of us agreed to share it.

The guy at the table bought me a beer, shared his pizza, kissed me at another bar later that night, and became my husband and the father of my three kids. We’ll have been married 19 freaking years in May. That’s still crazy to think about because he and I both still feel like we are those college kids back in 1990.

The fateful thing about our chance encounter on February 2, 1990 (Wow, I just realized I met him on the day The Cell Phone Lot is coming out! How’s THAT for fate – 22 years to the day!)… the neatest thing about our story is that there are so many chances for us to have NOT met that night, and also so many chances for us to have met previously.
But it was THAT night that was supposed to be THE night for us.

We discovered that when I was a freshman, we had a math class together. We probably had been to the same parties. I knew some of his closest friends – even typed papers for one of his best friends. Had I met him any other time, there would have been no way we’d ever been together forever. Yeah, we might have hooked up earlier during college – to have our relationship outlast the four years of college? No way. We needed that time to grow and become the people we were when we met that night.

And I could have totally missed him the night we met. Let’s say my roommates weren’t ready to leave when we left for the bar, or we didn’t see the table become available, or one of our fake IDs didn’t work that night? There were so many components that led to us meeting that night, that it was completely meant to be.

This is why I love stories about fate, and love, and risk-taking and chance encounters.

With The Cell Phone Lot, I wanted to create two people who might not otherwise ever meet and have them want to be together so badly but to have some major obstacles get in the way.

Grant is at the cell phone lot to pick up a woman he’s going to meet for the first time that he ‘met’ through an online dating service when he meets Bridge in the cell phone lot. She’s also waiting to pick up someone at the airport. They are attracted to each other instantly, and their attraction is palpable.

Their relationship unfolds in the airport as the flights they’re waiting for are delayed by bad weather. It’s anybody’s guess as to what happens – if this chance encounter has fate arriving for them, or if they’ll have separate departures … never to see one another again.

I’d love to give away five copies here, and for those who don’t win it, it’s only 99 cents on Amazon.

Think about where you are now and who you’re with – what led you to this place in your life? Was it a chance encounter? Fate? Was the timing absolutely perfect that any little glitch in the planning and you would have never met? I’d love to hear your story in the comment section for a chance to win one of the five ebooks we’re giving away here!

And thanks Liz and Lisa for hosting me on Chick Lit is Not Dead!

To find out more about Stephanie Elliot, visit her website.

Thanks, Stephanie!
xoxo,

L&L

(Fine print: We’ll randomly select the winners of The Cell Phone Lot on Monday, February 6 after 6pm PST.)

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

New host Angela Lindvall and "fashion expert" Miss Piggy

Liz here. I think y’all know I have a hard time with the word NO. But it’s especially true when it comes to my DVR-I just can’t say no to all those shiny and new Fall shows.  But there’s always a few that get dumped before I even watch one episode, (sorry 2 Broke Girls!) and a few that I can’t WAIT to sink my teeth into each week (Helloooo Once Upon A Time).

But just like any relationship, sometimes things go sour with even the best of shows.

You know how it is-things start off and you’re just so excited to see them.  You think about them when they’re not around, you talk about them incessantly to anyone who will listen.  You may even get irrationally angry when others block you from seeing them. (Um, yeah, sorry about that, Mike!) Then, things may start to cool off a little.  They seem to get comfortable and stop caring about how they look.  Or maybe they start trying a bunch of new things that, well, are LAME.  All of a sudden it’s been two, maybe three weeks since you’ve seen them. And before you can say Queer Eye For the Straight Guy, your former favorite show has become (gasp!) irrelevant!

And yes, Project Runway, I’m talkin’ to you.  Like Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, Chuck and Lost before you, I’m thinking of dumping your ass.

I LOVED Project Runway.  Like put the kids to bed, order sushi and force my husband to watch, LOVED it.  Christian Siriano made my heart sing and Mondo’s F’ed up patterns intrigued me. I didn’t even mind that Heidi Klum seemed to be pregnant every fucking season.  Hell, I even stuck with them when they moved over to Lifetime without High Def  TV and watched that terrible Models of the Runway spinoff!  Because even though I could barely see what the hell they had made without HD, I didn’t care.  I was there for the DRAMA. So when they announced Project Runway All-Stars, I was jumping up and down with joy.

All my fave designers!  In ONE show!  How could they go wrong? How could they mess up PERFECTION?

Well, they did. Let me count the ways…..

But wait, before we get into all that, I’ve got a copy of Gunn’s Golden Rules by Tim Gunn.  Just leave a comment and I’ll choose a lucky winner on Sunday January 29th after 6pm PST.  Good luck!

WHY I’M JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU(ANYMORE):PROJECT RUNWAY

1. The poor man’s Heidi Klum Where the F is Heidi Klum and who is this imposter they have hosting the show?  I sincerely hope that she’s not as uncomfortable being on TV as I am watching her on it. Make the cringing stop. Please. And she doesn’t even say that German bullshit at the very end when the designer gets kicked to the curb.  WTF! 

And while we’re on the subject of Miss Klum, so freakin’ bummed to hear about her and Seal.  I really was buying in to their whole perfect relationship thing. *cue mental image of Seal serenading Heidi with Kiss From a Rose each night*

2. The New Judges Where is my boyfriend Micheal Kors and his barbs?  Nina Garcia’s knowing smirk? And Isaac Mizrahi as a replacement?  Really? That’s the best you could come up with? And don’t even get me started on the fact that MISS PIGGY was a guest judge last week. Because she’s a fashion EXPERT. Come on!

3. That British chick Okay, what the hell happened to Tim Gunn and who is this bitchy Brit with the bad haircut?  Her utter disdain while in the workroom makes me uncomfortable. And not in a good Real Housewives of Atlanta sort of way.

4. The Designers Between April’s gray hair and Austin Scarlett’s scarf and bolo fixation, I’m not feelin’ my fave designers.  Where is Kenley’s cattiness? Why isn’t anyone talking shit on Michael? When did Rami learn to do something other than draping? Where is the DRAMA?  Do they really think we actually tune in for the designs?  Jesus, I haven’t been able to see them clearly anyway the last few years!

5. High Definition TV  Sooooo…the lesson here is to be careful what you wish for.  I lamented the last three seasons about the lack of HDTV on Lifetime.  But little did I know how disconcerting it would be to actually see my favorite designers so UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL.  Did Mila always look so sweaty in the workroom? Was Kenley’s lipstick always that red?  Did Micheal’s eyebrows look like that before? It’s creepin’ me out.

So I’m sorry Project Runway, it’s been real.  But I just moved you below Spongebob on my DVR playlist.  And we all know what that means-You’re out. Auf Wiedersehen!  Oh, and Top Chef?  I’m officially putting you on notice.

What about you?  Any shows you are dumping this season?  Tell me!

xoxo, Liz

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

 ”On a scale of one to 10, I feel like I’m gonna throw up.”

Ah, it’s highly intelligent statements like this one (among many other reasons coming up in a minute) that keep me watching The Bachelor every week. This is my personal favorite from last night. Spoken by Jaclyn who was upset over the possibility of the cocktail-party-crashing mystery guest getting a rose…

Confession:  Bachelor Ben Flajnik is starting to grow on me just a wee bit. He still needs an effing haircut like nobody’s bidness (could his sister not point that out to him???), but there’s something about him. He seems, dare I suggest, normal? Well, normal by reality show standards anyway. (And we have to admit he looked pretty good skiing with his shirt off… and did you see the part where he played the piano? *swoon*)

Or perhaps I’m no better than any of the women on the show- I’m simply caught up in the moment, the rose on the table staring me down- making me believe that he. Is. The. One.

But regardless of how I feel about Bachelor Ben, let’s face it- he’s not what makes The Bachelor a Monday night must-watch- it’s the catty, backstabbing, tight (and bad- does anyone else agree?) dress wearing, crying, idiotic statement spewing women who have us pulling up a couch cushion each week.

And as I watched last night, I found myself giddy with excitement yet again. Even though I’ve seen it all before- even though it’s the same Bachelor just a different name. Even though it’s the same cocktail party showdowns and tearful exits. Even though it’s a total formula-  It never gets old. And I decided that because five reasons I still watch The Bachelor just weren’t enough, here are five more. (PS: Be sure to leave a comment about why you watch- or why you don’t- and be entered to win a copy of FLY AWAY HOME by fellow Bachelor watcher, Jennifer Weiner. We’ll randomly select the winner after 6p.m. PST on Sunday, Jan 22. )

1. The crazy declarations

If we conquer our fear of heights together, we can do anything! (Said by Ben after he climbs the San Francisco Bay bridge with his date, Emily.) Who cares that they’ve only known each other for two and a half minutes? They’ve climbed up to a really high place together so they can survive marriage! WTF?

When I walk through the door tonight, I’m going to fall in love with Ben quickly.  These girls are going to hate me but I’m willing to take the risk because he’s (Ben’s) someone I want to be with for the rest of my life. Spoken by a mystery guest who crashes the cocktail party. Oh and BTW, she doesn’t know Ben at all. See #2

2. The (uninvited) mystery guest

I love the drama as the mystery guest is slowly revealed. The hands on the steering wheel. The voice mail left for Chris (Harrison). The legs getting out of the car. The reaction of the girls when she enters the cocktail party. WHO. THE. *#&%. IS. THAT. GIRL? Well, last night it was Shawntel (or whatsherbutt as model, Courtney, so affectionately called her). You remember funeral director Shawntel from Brad’s season? Well poor Shawntel’s crazy declaration didn’t prove true- she didn’t get the rose or the love. (And let’s face it, had she stayed, the girls would’ve likely killed her or at the very least beaten her to a freakin’ pulp.) But what she did get were a lot of fun comments like:  she’s uglier in person and her thighs are thicker than mine (spoken by the SAME girl). The guys she dates go on dates where she draws people’s blood.  We don’t re-use Brad’s dumpster trash And my personal favorite: She rode in here on her high Hearse *cue cymbal*

3. The dates

Scaling the San Francisco Bay Bridge, a private concert by Matt Nathanson, a piano duet. And that was just one date with one girl- Emily. Oh, to be a reality show contestant… *Swoon* To fall in love to the glow of the camera lights. To make out with six producers watching you. To go on one unrealistic date after the next making your expectations so high that it will be virtually impossible to succeed in love in the real world. Wait, maybe I’m wrong. Apparently if you do a death defying stunt together, you’ll have no issues living under the same roof, sharing money or raising kids! (See #1). Plus, on what other show can you watch women skiing the streets of San Francisco in their bikinis?

4. Chris Harrison

Gotta love the man. He’s got the greatest gig in TV.  He probably makes a sh*t load of money and he’s only on the air for about five minutes each week. Although last night he actually got about six minutes because he greeted the mystery guest (told her to freshen up?! See #5) and had to come out a second time to establish that Ben was about to give out the final rose of the evening. (Erika went down hard like a sack of potatoes temporarily halting the rose ceremony.)

5. Jennifer Weiner’s live tweets

As if we didn’t already love this New York Times bestselling novelist enough for writing fabulous book after fabulous book (can’t wait for her upcoming release, The Next Best Thing) she also live tweets The Bachelor! @Jenniferweiner And she’s hilarious. (Trust me, her tweets alone are reason enough to watch the show.) Some of my favorites:

She’s got thicker thighs than me. She’s uglier in person. Wow. Did the meanest girl get a free spray tan? #thebachelor

Hmph. Ben declines to hand out the final rose. Jaclyn’s crying like she lost a limb. Or an implant. Something important. #thebachelor

When I’m in charge of everything, The Bachelor will be on every night

And one reason I might have to stop watching…

The tonsil hockey

WTF? Really Ben? I don’t know about you, but it wouldn’t be a turn on if Ben told me I was the best kisser in the house. Then kissed me again and told me it was still true. Aren’t we missing something here? This means he’s sticking his tongue down a lot of throats. #gagmewithaspoon

xoxo,

Lisa

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

Weight.  We’re a country obsessed with it.  We have magazine cover devoted to it.  Some of us (Liz!) talk about it constantly. So when we saw that Kate Rockland’s next novel was titled 150 Pounds, well, we knew we had to get our hands on it ASAP!

We’re thrilled that Kate’s returning to the site today(we crowned her as our VERY FIRST Lit IT Girl last year!) to share her 5 Loves a Dud.  We think you’ll find them as hilarious and insightful as her novels, even if now we’re a bit scared to visit New Jersey. (um, total California girls over here!) Regardless, we think you’ll love her latest, 150 Pounds.  It’s fabulous and fun-it’s a must read for all you weight obsessers (don’t deny-we know you do it too!).

Here’s the scoopage on 150 Pounds: In the fast paced life of blogging, two women stand out: Alexis Allbright, of Skinny Chick, and Shoshana Weiner, who writes Fat and Fabulous. Both have over five million loyal readers. Both are hungry for success. But the similarities stop there.

With over 100 pounds on the scale separating them, weight isn’t their only difference. Alexis is a loner who is so bitchy the only person who can stand her company is her gay best friend Billy. She gives neurotic New Yorkers a run for their money with her strict daily workout routine, and weighing of food. Shoshana is Alexis’s opposite. Living in Jersey with rowdy roommates, she is someone who “collects friends,” as her mother puts it; and treasures a life of expanding circles…and waistlines.

When both appear as panelists on a popular talk show, their lives intersect in ways neither could have imagined. In turns comedic, heartwarming—and familiar to any woman who’s ever stepped on a scale—Alexis and Shoshana realize they have far more in common than either could have possibly imagined, and more importantly, something to offer.

Sound fun? Then leave a comment and you’ll be entered on of FIVE copies.  We’ll choose the winner after 6pm PST on Sunday January 22nd.  Good Luck!

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS…KATE ROCKLAND’S 5 LOVES AND A DUD

1. Other People’s Weddings I know everyone likes to complain about having to book hotel rooms, buy silver bridesmaid shoes, or stop eating their lobster to stand up when a couple gets announced as husband and wife for the first time. Me? I frickin’ love weddings. From the moment I get the invitation in the mail and affix it to my fridge, to stumbling back to my room buzzed off the free champagne, I have had a ball at every wedding I’ve ever been lucky enough to be invited to. I love noting which traditions the bride and groom included or discarded, love embarrassing speeches by fathers when they tear up, love the surprise of which appetizers and entrees a couple chose when they’re placed before me, and I especially love the moment the bride enters the room, chapel, church, synagogue, or beach to walk down the aisle and everyone sucks in their breath at how beautiful she looks. As you can imagine, I started planning my own wedding the minute I met my husband. My friend Marissa used to joke she was afraid to open my bedroom closet, lest six wedding dresses fall out.

2. Coffee Some people have a morning exercise routine. I have a morning coffee routine. From the minute I wake up, I start looking forward to my medium hazelnut, extra cream, and two sugars. I go to a local café four blocks from my apartment. I know the owner, and we usually chat for a few minutes each day. This gives me hope, that should I ever die and my husband doesn’t notice, this store owner will call the police and not let my cat eat my face off. I don’t mind standing in line, as I usually do a heaping dose of people-watching. I like imagining what profession everyone is in, where they’re running off to. I try and spy on people working on their laptops, to see what they’re typing. I like the sacks of beans that decorate the store, and the funny names of the beans like “Obama blend.” That first sip is heaven.

3. Cranky Northern New Jerseyans and New Yorkers  I lived in Colorado once and didn’t trust anyone I met. They were too earnest, too helpful, too laid-back. After two years I hastily packed my bags and moved home to the East Coast. I’m from Northern New Jersey, right across the river from Manhattan. People here tell it like it is. If you’re acting like an asshole, people will tell you. If you leave your car double-parked too long on the street, someone will smash in your window. That’s just the way it is. I don’t trust friendly people, and when I travel, I miss loud Jersey women who can make you laugh in five minutes. I like it that if someone falls on the sidewalk in Manhattan, no one helps them up. I mean really, get better walking shoes. I keep thinking my husband and I have to move to the suburbs, but I’m terrified of someone breaking into our house. My family thinks I’m crazy; aren’t I scared to live in a city? I’m not. I like that there’s always someone standing outside their building smoking, or walking down the street in front of me. No one’s ever bothered me in the city. I don’t trust the rest of the country. I feel like there’s never been a serial killer from New Jersey.

4. The Smell of My Son After a Bath Because one of my son’s favorite pastimes is smushing avocado into his ears, digging in the dirt with his fingers, or sticking banana up his nose, by the end of the day the kid needs a bath. I don’t so much enjoy the act of giving him a bath, as it’s physically draining to lift him in and out of the tub, fill it with fancy California Baby soap, stick in all his colorful bath toys, undress him, and lay out his bath towel. However, the end result is divine; the day gets washed away, and all the minor stresses I’ve had melt when I kneel down and make sure he has no toe lint between his toes from his socks. I love how his hair gets a tiny curl to it after a bath, and how his skin shines like pearls, the avocado gets removed from his ears, and his skin smells simply divine. I like that even though I don’t always get it right when it comes to mommyhood, I can give my son this small gift of a bath every night, and send him off to sleep clean and happy.

5. Reading a Murder Mystery Some of my favorite mystery writers, P.D. James, Elizabeth George, and Ngaio Marsh my mom got me into from high school on. I love nothing more then settling down into bed and scaring the bejezus out of myself. I know it’s a genre I could never write, and that fascinates me. To be a mystery writer one has to know not only how to solve puzzles, but how to come up with the original puzzle in the first place, one that hasn’t been penned already by another author. Figuring out plot extends to other pop culture loves I have, like watching The Closer or seeing a really good film with a winding plot. I like characters that might not be who they seem. When I was younger, there were times I needed to know who the murderer was so badly I’d cut class and sit on the toilet in the ladies’ room, hastily speed-reading through the pages. My husband teases me because I sometimes will scan the last page of a mystery novel to make sure I’m on the right track as to who the killer is, and then I’m bummed out when I’m right. I’m getting better at resisting this urge.

DUD

Couples Buying Homes on HGTV’s “House Hunters” I’m addicted to HGTV’s show “House Hunters.” Mainly, because I can’t afford to buy a house. It’s also why I read fashion magazines, and consider whether the $1200 Marc Jacobs sweater would look good with my skin tone: It’s a fantasy. However, the couples who agree to be filmed as they buy their dream home really piss me off. They seem to have no concept what “small” is, to start. I have been living in a 650 square foot-apartment with two other people and a shy cat for six years. We have closets narrower then my body if I stand with my back to them, which are so jam packed there is one in the living room that no longer opens. Nothing makes me angrier then when I watch a couple stroll into a four-bedroom house in Texas and state that the walk-in closet off the master bedroom is “too small.” Girl, that closet is the size of my entire apartment. How much space do Americans think they need? Someday I’ll move into a house and it’s going to feel like a castle, no matter what size it is. And I won’t complain about the size of my walk-in closet. At least the door will open.

Thanks Kate! xoxo, L&L

To read more about Kate, head on over to her website or find her on Facebook or Twitter.

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

It’s that time of year again. Time for my so-called resolutions.

I found myself, New Years morning, fingers poised on my keyboard as I tried to write an Facebook-worthy resolution status.  The usual suspects came to mind, I’m going to me more positive, I’m going to lose ten pounds, etc…And even though there were tons of things I wanted to improve about myself (hello, self hate!), I had a damn hard time coming up with something Facebook worthy.  The only thing that made me feel better?  I had finally learned how to spell the word resolution without using spell check.  Check that off the 2011 list please!

But after some very deep soul searching, I’ve come up with my 2012 list. And I want to hear about yours too!  Leave me a comment and I’ll enter you to win an ARC of Spin by Catherine McKenzie.  I’ll choose the winner on January 15th after 6pm PST.

LIZ’S SO CALLED 2012 RESOLUTIONS

1. Make more time for the things I love Is there an available fairy godmother out there?  Because I need to make a few more hours in the day. I struggled in 2011 to find time to write-something I’m determined to change in 2012.  One step in the right direction?  The BOSE noise cancelling headphones I got last month.  They’re so awesome that the house could be F’ing burning down around me and I wouldn’t hear shit.  But, at last I’ll finally have that peace and quiet I’ve been craving to get some writing done.

2. Get my funny back Where the F*CK has it been? I blame a lack of trashy reality TV watching on my part-something I vow to correct ASAP. (You hear that, Dance Moms?)  And anyway, considering this is an election year, I’m going to need all the funny I can get! *cue a million ridiculously annoying campaign ads*

3. Read MORE  Yes, gi-normous TBR pile, I’m talking to you. I’m going to make you my bitch in 2012.  Consider yourself warned.

4. Get in shape    *snorts*  I know, I know.  But if you count carrying three grocery bags on each arm once a week weight training, then at least I’m doing something, right?

5. Skip the fad diets Last month, that freakin’ HCG diet made me a horrible, hungry ogre who wanted to gnaw on her husband’s arm like a hambone.  And those annoying people who claimed they were NEVER HUNGRY while on it?  LIARS!!!  Instead? I downloaded Net Diary, an AWESOME app that helps you track your calories.  The anal type-A control freak in me is jumping up and down that I can count every single morsel that enters my mouth in 2012.  Except for that BLT with avocado my drunken alter ego devoured at 1am in Vegas last weekend.  But let’s just pretend that never happened….

Bonus so-called resolution: 

Finish our next book- This one’s easy.  At almost 40,000 words and a writing retreat coming up later this month, we should be ready to shop it by March.  Want a quick peek at the premise?  Hmmm…All I’ll say is that it’s about two childhood best friends who get themselves in a sticky situation and it’s called The Toast. You’ll have to wait on the rest!

*raises glass* Here’s to a great 2012!  I hope it’s your best year EVER!  xoxo, Liz

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

Can you guys believe it’s 2012 already?  And since this may or may not be the final year of our existence according to that pesky Mayan calendar, we better make it count by reading LOTS of awesome books!

We’ll be switching things up a bit this year-look for lots of pop culture talk (The Bachelor, anyone?) and more shit-talking posts from us.(And we want to hear from you too!)

And of course, all the VERY best authors and giveaways.  Because that’s how we roll in 2012, bitches!

We’re kicking off the New Year with the fabulous Cooper Lawrence and her latest, The Yoga Club.  Cooper is our type of multi-tasker-not only does she co-host The Big Show with Scott & Todd in New York, you can also catch her on Fox’s Dish Nation.  She’s also written several other books.  See?  Serious Multi-tasker! And she does it well-The Yoga Club is a lot of fun-the perfect way for you to kick off 2012!

Here’s the skinny on The Yoga Club: Chatting it up with bendy WASPs is the last thing on Coco Guthrie’s mind during her 8:30 a.m. yoga class. Having made her fortune as the world-renowned inventor of Butt-B-Gone derriere cream, Coco still doesn’t feel like she belongs among the upper class— until she attends the swankiest Halloween soiree in Greenwich, Connecticut, where three of her fellow morning yogis shared her brilliant idea to appear as Sarah Palin. Soon it’s clear that a love of stretching isn’t all this accidental sorority—which includes a single mom with echolalia, an entertainment reporter who charms the pants off handsome stars, and a drama-prone producer with a taste for drag— have in common.

When the four mischievous Sarahs wander away from the party to sneak a peek at the mayor’s neighboring estate, they are stunned to find him adorned in leather and latex, and rolling up a woman’s body in a Persian rug. To make matters worse, someone has spotted the spying Palins. Someone who threatens to expose their torrid affairs in business and the bedroom. Now the unlikely foursome must use all their wits and wiles to get to the bottom of the kinky crime. But will their budding friendship be strong enough to protect their deepest secrets?

Sound good?  Well then you’ll be stoked to know we have FIVE copies to give away!  You know the drill-just leave a comment and we’ll randomly choose the winners after 6pm PST on Monday January 9th.  Good luck!

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENT…COOPER LAWRENCE’S 5 LOVES AND A DUD

1. Thick and thin friends.  No, no, not your friends with canckles and food issues, but the ones who go through it with you…and I mean….ALL OF IT! My closest friends are people I have known for twenty years or more who know me better than I know myself, will call me on my “stuff”, and are people I have relied on at various times in my life without question. As Marlene Dietrich said, “It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.”

2. Marconi, the inventor and the puppy. Since I have spent the bulk of my career in radio I would be remiss not to be grateful for Guglielmo Marconi, an Italian inventor, known as the father of long distance radio transmission.  Radio is my second love, the first being my 96lb Italian Spinone puppy aptly named….you guessed it…Marconi (which is only funny if you know I’m in radio). What makes my Marconi special is that he is a pet therapy dog through the Delta Society. We visit at our local hospital on a weekly basis and its great to see him working with the patients.

3. The greatest channel on TV.  Investigation Discovery Hollywood crimes, murder and forensic investigations, oh my! When you’re relaxing on your couch and eating dinner, what’s better than watching a cold case solved by DNA of an assailant’s 30 year old semen? I can’t get enough of Deadly Women, Wicked Attraction, and Solved: Extreme Forensics.  In this one episode they had to get the help of a NASA scientist…but I don’t want to ruin for you. If you don’t get the ID: Investigation Discovery channel, call your local cable provider.

4. Living in NYC. I would love to regale you with stories of the hustle and the bustle, or the museums and cocktail soirees on exotic rooftops but my real love for this city is that anything can be delivered to you at any time of the day. Groceries, burritos, laundry, furniture, shoes…you name it they’ll bring it. You don’t have to get out of your sweatpants….ever!

5. Being Single. Read the first four. Is it any shock?

DUD

WAR. No disrespect to them but I got their greatest hits for Christmas and I was really underwhelmed. “Spill The Wine” is ok once it gets to the chorus but the whole spoken word thing that leads up to it is so hacky.

Thanks so much Cooper! xoxo, L&L

To read more about Cooper, head on over to her website or find her on Facebook or Twitter.

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

Dear, The Bachelor,

I hope this isn’t too forward. But I f*cking love the sh*t out of you. To clarify, I don’t mean you, the bachelor, as in Brad (gag) or Jake (double gag) or even Ben (you should cut your shaggy mop, but you are growing on me.)- but the show. The glorious cat-fights, the endless streams of tears, the ridiculous stunts, the bad (make that really bad) prom dresses and that’s just the premier episode.

I’m addicted.

The rejected Bachelors and Bachelorettes are obviously addicted too- many now coming back for a second beating more after having their hearts broken on national TV. Like our latest, Ben Flanjik.

And c’mon, admit it, you’re just a little bit addicted too… (I see your comments on Facebook and Twitter!)

Who cares that I’m pushing forty. That I had to wait until the kids went to bed to watch because the content of the show is just that wrong. That I sat by myself with a large glass of wine rubbing my hands together maniacally waiting for the opening credits to start. That my husband has even thrown in the towel after many seasons of (not so) secretly watching by my side. (Brad and his therapist did him in.) I’ll always be a loyal fan. I’ll always watch you.

Here are the five reasons why I’ll never stop…

1. The drama. Omg. It never ceases to amaze. Do these women not watch the previous seasons? Do they not get that drama is not the answer to securing a rose and landing the bachelor? All I have to say is thank gawd they don’t.  And thank gawd for the free-flowing alcohol that the show provides them.

2. The crazies. I know she’s technically one of my own, but the blogger. Jenna. OMG. She brings hot mess to a whole new level getting into an argument with another woman and saying the seven words I was quite certain I’d NEVER  hear in my life: Maybe. We. Can. Share. A. Tampon. Sometime.

WTF? (I think I’ll be asking that a lot this season!)

And in the most dramatic rose ceremony ever, (I’m sure Chris Harrison would agree as, isn’t every rose ceremony the most dramatic?) she pries herself off the bathroom floor where she was crying hysterically about not following her own advice that she blogs about- and gets a rose. But of course she does. She only adds to the dramz. See #1.

3. The unexpected. The horse! The bacon! The grandma! And that was just last night.

Lindzi rides in on a horse and secures the first impression rose. And of course prompts one of the women (the model- who looks like she’s going to be CRAZY this season) to say,  f*ck her and the horse she rode in on.

Amber B. (a.k.a. Amber Bacon) offers Ben a taste! (No one likes bacon that much. No one.)

Grams!

And Brittney brings her sweet, 72-year-old grandmother who raised her. (A brilliant play, btw!)  And who, even though she is SEVENTY TWO, is apparently not safe from bashing (is nothing sacred?). The catty women can’t hold back even for a little old lady- talking shit on grams and her wrinkly skin. Two words: Eff. Them.

4. The wine. Oh this part is all about me even though two Bachelors have been in the wine biz- Andrew Firestone and now, Ben Flanjik. I’m referring to what goes on in my own living room as I watch. A nice deep pour from a nice bottle of red just makes it all even more delicious. Oh, and it doesn’t hurt that the women seem to drink a sh*t load of it too.

5. The love. What can I say? I’m a hopeless romantic. And they do fall- so madly and deeply-as they hold each other tight in their bathing suits (or as this season’s promo promises, in their birthday suits). And I am rooting for them- all of them. Even the ones that gross me out like the high-waisted pants wearing CRAZY pilot Jake. Because there’s someone for everyone. Right, Vienna?

And before I go, here’s the woman who would’ve gotten the first impression rose from me last night (because I can’t totally bash everyone and everything!): Kacie B.  (What can I say, I’m a sucker for a southern accent!)

Here’s to another delicious season! I’ll be toasting next week’s episode with a bottle of wine from Ben’s Evolve Winery.

xoxo,

Lisa

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

Last month, something terrible happened. It was a day I had dreaded, but thought I had months, possibly years before I had to deal with it.  A day where childhood dreams would be shattered and the shit would hit the fan.

My seven year-old figured out that Santa Claus is a fraud.

On her own.  Believe me, I practically used CIA interrogation techniques to try to figure out who had ruined it for her.  I was nine when my older brothers dropped the bomb.  I’ll never forget where I was(the backseat of my parent’s hugeass yellow Buick, rolling around with no seatbelts) or the disbelief I felt when they told me.  But even after seven rounds of questioning, Riley still insisted that she just suddenly realized that the whole Santa Claus thing didn’t make sense. And I was all at once totally bummed and secretly proud of my little PI Spice.

So imagine me, caught like a deer in headlights at her declaration.  Thinking I had plenty of time to think about this day, I had NO IDEA how to react.  Do I deny? Run into the garage and pull out Twas The Night Before Christmas to build my case? Bring out that pesky Elf on the Shelf? Go to that freakin’ web site that stalks Santa all year?

Yes, those all would have been grand ideas had I thought of them at the time. Instead, I just dumbly nodded my head and said, how did you figure it out?

The thing is, I just didn’t want to lie to her about it.  Now, listen, I’m not judging people that stretch the truth about Santa Claus to keep things going for a few years longer. In fact, part of me wishes I had done that too.  It’s just that I’m always on their little asses about telling the truth and, well, it felt hypocritical to fib about Ole St. Nick.

But then, I totally panicked. My five year-old son and ALL of Riley’s first grade friends were still living in holiday dreamland. (Oh, because in case you were wondering, the Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy true identities were unveiled as well) And the last thing I needed was Riley spilling the beans at school and having every mom this side of the 405 freeway ready to beat my ass.  So after much threatening discussion, it was decided that this would stay our little secret.  And to my surprise, she’s been very discreet. *breathes a huge sigh of relief*

Truth be told, I’m a bit bummed that the magic wore off so early.  Christmas just doesn’t seem the same this year. Even as the least nostalgic person around, I wish I could have had just one more year to see that Santa sparkle in her eye. But it’s also been a good teaching opportunity on how she can play Santa for other people-we grabbed a letter to Santa from Operation Santa Claus this year, and not only did she help pick and wrap all their gifts, she also pledged her own money to help bring the magic of Santa to a family that’s had a tough year.  And helping others, in my humble opinion, is truly the reason for the season. Okay, I’ll stop now. *steps off soapbox*

And there are some other benefits to Riley knowing that Santa’s a fraud…

1. She’s much better at hiding that freakin’ Elf on the Shelf. I basically just moved him back and forth between three places.  Now he changes rooms, brings candy and visits Santa each night rather than a few times a month like he’s done in years past. Although I did catch him in a compromising situation with Barbie and Ken last week that I’m going to assume was unintentional.

2. I’ll finally get a good Santa picture.  With the pressure totally off, I’m sure I’ll get that dazzling smile I’ve been desperate for the past SEVEN years.

3. When she calls me Mrs. Claus, I don’t think it’s because I just ate too many holiday cookies and drank too much eggnog.

4. She’s better behaved.  Girlfriend knows that Santa was much more forgiving than me when it comes to the naughty list.

5. She finally understands why has Santa ignored her plea for a pony each year and wisely left it off her list this time.

Happy Holidays!  Hope you have a FABULOUS time celebrating with your loved ones!

xoxo, Liz

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

Like Liz mentioned in her best books of 2011 post, we read a f*ckload of books this year. And deciding which books made our favorites list was almost harder than deciding which movie Ryan Gosling looked hottest in this year. (For the record, after careful consideration, I’ve decided on Crazy, Stupid Love.)

And even though it has NOTHING to do with this post…

Here are Ryan Gosling and his abs in Crazy, Stupid Love

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming…

One more little thing before I get to my list o’ books…what kind of end-of year post would this be without another AWESOME giveaway? (Liz gave away ten yesterday so of course I will too!)  Just leave a comment and you’ll be entered to win a BUNDLE O’ BOOKS that includes novels from Meg Mitchell Moore to Kristin Hannah to Jackie Collins to Meg Cabot!  Check out the picture below to see all TEN books the winner will receive. We’ll choose the winners on Monday December 26th after 6pm PST.

Win all ten of these books!

So without further adieu, here’s my list.  And don’t forget to tell me what YOUR fave novels of 2011 were!

LISA’S TOP BOOKS OF 2011

1. The Arrivals by Meg Mitchell Moore You know that feeling you get when a book sucks you in so hard and so fast that you think about the story and the characters when you’re not even reading it? That’s what happened to me when I devoured Meg Mitchell Moore’s debut novel. I found her book about what happens when all of the children come back home to their parent’s house at the same time so engaging and powerful that it resonated with me long after I finished reading it. So much so, that I knew it would make this list long before I ever officially created it. The Arrivals makes the perfect gift for any book lover who likes to dive in and barely come up for air until she’s reached the last page. (PS: It also has one of my favorite covers of the year.)

2.  A Year and Six Seconds: A Love Story by Isabel Gillies  When I wrote about Isabel Gillies just last month, I was crushing hard. Swooning. In love. All of the above. And let’s just say, the crush has only deepened since. (I’ve re-read the book since writing that post and have to say it was even better the second time.) It’s a beautifully written true story about the deep pain and loss of heartbreak and divorce and the deep resilience and sense of humor of love. Ladies, if you haven’t yet read this memoir, treat yourself to a copy this Christmas.

3. The Violets of March by Sarah Jio  We named Sarah Jio our Lit IT Girl for a reason. I was so engrossed in this novel about riding a high for ten years and then having to start over that I could not put this debut novel down. And when I say couldn’t put it down, that’s not an exaggeration. I carried it with me everywhere and, at one point, was reading it while feeding my daughter. This novel makes a perfect gift for anyone who loves a good mystery and a good love story all rolled into one. (And BTW, Sarah Jio isn’t done wowing us for 2011, she has a second fabulous novel, The Bungalow, coming out on December 27th. Yes, two in one year! Be looking for her 5 Loves and a Dud and, of course, a chance to win one of 5 copies of The Bungalow later this week!)

4. It’s Hard Not to Hate You by Valerie Frankel   In a nutshell, I had a baby at the beginning of this year so I needed a damn good laugh (or a thousand million!).  And with this memoir, the hilarious Valerie Frankel may have just given me the best baby gift of all (sorry, Mom!) In a nutshell, after a health crisis and unlocking years of pent up rage, Frankel discovers that your Bitchy Twin might just be your funniest, most valuable and honest ally. One of the funniest books I read all year (and that’s sayin’ a lot because there a lot that had me laughing), there was no question this book was going to make my list. Put it in the stocking of anyone who needs a good, healthy LOL.

5. If You Were Here by Jen Lancaster  When one of my favorite authors of all time made her fiction debut, I felt like one of those crazy people that lines up for the latest Apple gadget or to try out for American Idol. I might as well have stayed up all night and slept in the rain on the sidewalk as I waited for this book to come out. And once I got my little mitts on it, I was over ‘da moon (me and her million other fans!). It’s a story that asks- can your marriage survive a DIY renovation? It follows Amish-zombie-teen- romance author Mia and her husband Mac (and their pets) as they go through the  funny-process of buying and renovating their first home in the Chicago suburbs that John Hughes’s movies made famous…and a lot more! The John Hughes references alone make this novel a must-read!

Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson. In a word, fascinating.

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.