What’s not to love about bad TV? Especially bad reality TV. It’s entertaining, mind numbing (oh so mind numbing!) and becoming a spectator sport that could rival any ancient Roman gladiator fight. (Have you seen Jersey Shore?) And with so much bad TV out there, we though we’d start defending why we choose to use what little time we have to watch something so ridiculously shitty.

So, of course, Bachelor Pad was first on my list!

For those of you not familiar (c’mon you can’t just say no to this show) Bachelor Pad is a mansion full of former Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants who didn’t get enough the first time and have returned to manipulate, back stab and even make out with each other in an attempt to win a grand prize of 250,000. It’s kind of a Survivor meets Big Brother with some rose ceremonies thrown in.

Still need more convincing before you tune in?

Well lucky you! Because here’s not one but five reasons why I watch (and think you should too):

1. The Dramz. This season, the Pad is full of tears, confrontations and lots of ex-fiances. There was Jake (the former Bachelor) vs. Vienna (his ex-fiance). (Boo hoo. Poor Jake was just voted off). Then there’s Vienna’s new main squeeze, Kasey, a.k.a. Mr. Guard and Protect Your Heart (he tatooed a crest on his wrist for Bachelorette, Ali and shockingly didn’t get picked.) who thinks he’s the Godfather of the group. And don’t forget Holly who has the hots for Blake even though her former fiance’ Michael is in the other room crying because she broke his heart. And of course there’s gorgeous but crazy Michelle (who competed for Bachelor Brad’s affection) who doesn’t seem so crazy anymore when you compare her to crazy ass Melissa (just voted off). Mix in a few other crazies, a mansion, a lot of alcohol and a hot tub (you just don’t have a good, solid reality show without one!) and you’ve got a recipe for a delicious guilty pleasure.

2. The Power Couples. Why tune in to Cspan when you can watch these guys strategize like they’re planning a covert military operation. Never mind that they’ve got the collective brainpower of a family of fleas.

3. The Hot Bods. Hey call me a cougar, but there are some hotties running around. Male and female! In my defense, I don’t get out much these days….

4. Chris Harrison. The host. He has the best job in television. He earns a paycheck for occasionally reeling off some rules, reminding everyone when it’s the final rose (because they can’t see it sitting there on the table) and of course whenever he sees the most dramatic moment in Bachelor Pad history.

5. You’ll feel better (about yourself) after. ‘Nuff said.

xoxo,

Lisa

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

Since becoming pregnant (I’m 20 weeks!), some of my television watching choices have been more than slightly affected. Let’s just say there’s certain television programming that I cannot watch and have to stay very far away from. (I’ll spare you the details!) Instead, I’d rather focus on the shows my big belly self wants to lounge on the couch and watch.  Basically anything prego, hot man or DIY related!

1. Bethenny Getting Married? Confession: When Bethenney was on The Real Houswives of New York City, she kind of bugged me. I have no idea why, with all the drama queens on that show, she stood out. But then something happened. She got her own show and I immediately saw her in a different light. She got pregnant right around the time I found out I was pregnant. And I felt strangely bonded to her. I’m “older”, she’s “older”. I got married later, she got married later. In fact, we both had whirlwind years- marrying and and getting pregnant within months. I think she’s one of those people you either love or hate- but I absolutely love her. I love her zingy one liners and direct approach with people like her lovable, albeit often clueless intern. And I’ll admit that maybe I’ve become a little obsessed- searching for an hour the other day to find the exact stroller she had on the show!

2.Mad Men Since entering my second trimester, I’ve dreamed about Don Draper (John Hamm), um, more times than I’d like to admit (it’s almost embarrassing- almost!). They said “certain hormones” would finally kick in and boy, have they evuh! In the form of having the major hots for one dark and sexy leading man on one of my all-time favorite shows. Now ladies, if you haven’t tuned into Mad Men- if for no other reason than to scope out Mr. Draper, you’re seriously missing out! But even beyond this sexy drink of water (okay, I need to stop!) the show is fabulous! It’s some of the most brilliant writing on television. Not to mention the mean girl crush I have on another series regular, Joan Harris, (Christina Hendricks) because, well, she just has curves in all the right places! I actually didn’t discover this show until last year and was immediately hooked. I quickly rented all the seasons until I caught up. And I recommend you do too! But beware, between all the drinking (on the job!) and sexing (with everyone and anyone) the show makes you want to be naughty! (Or maybe it’s just me- the drink deprived, hormone surging prego?)

3. DIY Network There’s Garage Mahal, Kitchen Impossible and Bathtastic to name just a few. I’m such a die-hard fan that I even watch Man Caves. There’s something about the idea that I can lay my own tile that gets my juices flowing.  I blame my obsession with DIY on my pregnancy. I’m nesting, right? Isn’t that what pregos do? I feel so empowered by being able to “do it myself” that I’m planning to paint the nursery, install a closet organizer and put together the crib by. my. self. Because if the dude from Turf Wars says I can, then I can.  Right?

xoxo, Lisa

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

I never thought I’d be the type of parent who would beg my kids to watch TV so I could have a moment of peace.  Rather, I had always thought I’d spend my evenings doing puzzles and teaching my little angels to read with Hooked on Phonics or some other smarty pants thing like that.

And I NEVEH thought that I would *gasp* actually come to ENJOY some of these shows.  But like with anything, if you are subjected to it day in and day out, you start to develop an affinity for it. (Also my reasoning as to why I enjoy Nickelback so much!)

But I’m willing to admit that I’ve come to not only tolerate, but actually like a few of my kid’s shows.  And if like me, you’ve found yourself *forgetting* to change the channel when Yo Gabba Gabba is on, I’d thought I’d let you know which ones won’t make your eyes bleed.

Watch This:

Johnny Test: I didn’t want to like Johnny, I really didn’t.  My kids accidentally discovered him in an rare moment of live TV watching and then I decided to look the other way on the Y7 rating(oh, c’mon, I’m sure those things don’t mean anything anyway, right?).  They quickly grew ADDICTED to little Johnny, his scientist twin sisters and talking dog.  But lately I find myself sitting each morning as we get ready for school, little shoes in one hand, actually WATCHING Johnny Test.  I *may* have even watched one when there were no children within a ten mile radius of the house. (Shh!)

Greek: I’ve already come out of the closet and admitted that I’m a closeted YA fiction lover, so it may not surprise you that I also have love for Teen TV.  ABC Family’s Greek is a fun and frothy look at college life. And now the creators of Greek have combined my two secret loves, YA fiction and TV with a new Greek book-Double Date by Marsha Warner!  And we have THREE copies to give away! Just leave a comment here and be entered! We’ll select the winners randomly on Thursday night.

Honorable mention: HotWheels: BattleForce 5: Um, is it weird that I have a crush on the guy that drives the red car?

Not That:

Bakugan: Don’t get it.  Don’t get the show, don’t get those lame little balls my kids made me buy that open when they land on a piece of paper.  And REALLY don’t get why my three- year -old feels the need to yell “BAKUGAN STOP! BAKUGAN ROLL!” all the time.  Who comes up with this stuff?  and why the hell do my kids like it so much?  All I can say is that it was erased from my season pass faster than you can say Conveyor Belt of Love.

The Wiggles: Sorry Wiggles lovers. Four grown men driving around in a big red car and singing about their body parts is just too much for me to handle.  And those songs!  So damn catchy that I find myself singing them around people over the age of five, which Is, Just. Wrong. I’ll have to find another way to teach my kids about their heads, elbows, knees and toes! And is it just me or is Captain Feathersword kinda creepy?

Honorable mention: Dora The Explorer: Hey amiga, can you please find a shirt that covers your tummy?  Porfavor?

What kid’s shows are YOU watching?  Leave a comment and you’ll be entered to win a copy of Greek: Double Date to satisfy your inner teen!

xoxo, Liz

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

Summer’s finally here and I’m looking forward to all the things that come along with it. Like beach bonfires, BBQs and…all kinds of TV shows that weren’t good enough for the regular season!

Remember back in the day when the only thing on in the summer were reruns of all your favorite shows?  But then the powers that be realized that viewers were so desperate for fresh programming in July that they’d watch just about anything!  And so the summer season was born…

I’ll admit that I’ve grown rather fond of many summer substandard shows. (Um, is this where I admit that I’m a closet Big Brother fan?)  And I always cheer just a little bit when one of my summer crushes graduates to the bigtime, aka the fall season schedule. (Bravo SYTYCD and Dancing with the Stars!)

And this summer is no exception with it’s choices of gluttonous reality TV.  And lucky for you, I’m here to navigate y’all through what’s trashy in a good way to what’s just trash.

WATCH THIS!

Losing it with Jillian I ran into this show by accident last week and thought I couldn’t stand the thought of one more minute of Jillian’s workouts, which usually consist of screaming and dramatic speeches about people healing from the inside.  But I was soon mesmerized by her heartfelt attempt to help an obese mom and dad lose weight in time for their daughter’s wedding.  And I cried like a baby when Jillian gave her lameass, overly dramatic, camera too close to her face speech.  Against my better judgment, I’m season passing this one.

Wipeout What does it say about me that I LOVE LOVE LOVE to watch people eat sh*t on the big red balls?  I tried to tell myself that it was my crush on John Henson(dating all the way back to his days on Talk Soup) that kept me coming back for more.  But then I finally came to the realization that watching these people make asses out of themselves just makes me happy after a long day.  Don’t judge.

NOT THAT!

The Bachelorette I’ve got to throw out the disclaimer that I actually watch this show religiously every week(so many facebook status opportunities! I can’t control myself!) and have been a huge fan since the day Trista gave out her first rose. But this season can be, um, well, SLIGHTLY UNWATCHABLE at times. Between the wrestler, the James Spader wannabe and the questionable sexual orientation of the weatherman, I find myself rolling my eyes much more than usual. (And that’s saying a lot people!)  And please someone tell me why we can’t get through an episode without one of these guys crying a river.  It’s making me want to take a torch and burn the rest of Ali’s roses. (Or her hair extensions-WTF with those?)

True Beauty Another show that I’m beginning to have a love/hate relationship with.  Something about the horribly obnoxious and shallow contestants (who think their competing to be the “face of Las Vegas” but are really being judged on their inner beauty) is both repulsive and addicting at the same time.  But either way, I’m always wondering the same thing: Where the hell do they find these people? And I can never tell if it’s my desperation to watch something new or actual humor that makes host Carson Kressly’s quips funny.  Either way, I have a feeling that True Beauty will be gathering dust in my Tivo this summer.

Honorable NOT THAT mention: Minute to Win it is so incredibly lame that I refuse to write more than one sentence about it-you’ll just have to trust me on this one.

What are YOU watching this summer?

xoxo, Liz

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

When it comes to my television watching habits, I tend to have a split personality.  Because there are two versions of Couch potato Liz: The one who’s drinking ice water and watching quality TV with her husband and the one who is shoving down handfuls of M&M’s while watching that trashy TV we all love to hate.

So on this edition of Watch this, Not that, I thought I’d come out of the closet and celebrate my Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde  TV watching self.  That I would declare my love for my ridiculous shows so I no longer have to hit the “exit” button when my husband returns unexpectedly to the family room after he swore he was going to bed.   So I don’t have to hide my head in shame when my trashy TV is hogging all the memory on our TiVo, causing it to erase the kid’s PBS shows.  And lastly, to give all of you other secret bad TV watchers a soft place to fall.

I’ll even entice you into telling me your dirty TV watching secrets by giving away two signed copies of Jennifer Ross’s delicious debut novel, The Icing on the Cupcake. It’s a great story AND has an awesome recipe at the end of each chapter. Just leave a comment to be entered!

WHEN THE HUSBAND IS AROUND, I WATCH THIS:

SURVIVOR While I’m sure some of you may argue if this should be considered quality TV, you have to admit that Survivor is the grandaddy of all reality TV shows, paving the way for copycats like Joe Millionaire(what ever happened to that guy, anyway?) and Big Brother.  A diehard fan since the first season, Jeff Probst’s arrogant, irritating narrative during each challenge, his leading questions during tribal council and that whole The Tribe has spoken thing just never gets old for me.  And with villains like Russell, I think this season’s better than ever!

CHUCK I think I’ve always secretly had a thing for lanky nerd types-at least when it comes to my TV watching preferences. (Why the hell else would I have ever watched The Big Bang Theory?)  And this sweet show about a computer geek who’s life is turned upside down when he has a CIA computer downloaded into his brain seems to have finally hit it’s stride in it’s third season. The best part?  It has enough action (And a smoking hot blonde!) to entice your man to watch it but at the core is just an adorable love story about a guy who’s in love with a girl who’s completely out of his league.

MY SECRET GUILTY PLEASURES:

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Sometimes I actually feel my IQ dropping as I take in the antics of my favorite Garden State Housewives. Announcing that watching another minute would makes his eyes bleed, my husband declared this show unwatchable early on in season one.  Typical that a man can’t appreciate a good table-flipping or tell-all book!There’s something about tough-talking Caroline and the clueless Teresa that makes me both LOL and feel a little nauseous at the same time.  Like I’m just holding my breath and praying that they aren’t really like this.  But either way, I know I won’t be able to turn the channel when season two begins May 3rd.

90210 I’m the first to admit that the only reason I gave this show a chance was because of my devotion to it’s predecessor.  But unlike it’s unwatchable updated cousin Melrose Place, the new 90210 had me at Hello. Okay, so maybe it was all the Kelly, Brenda and Donna cameos that got me on board.  But now, in it’s second season, those beyotches are gone and I’m still secretly watching every week when I think no one’s looking.  And considering the batch of new hotties they brought on last Fall, some(my husband in particular) may suggest that the cougar in me might be the reason I just can’t say no to 90210.  But I stand by it’s, um, strong story lines and um, impressive abs, um I meant acting.

What do YOU watch when no one’s looking?

xoxo, Liz

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

DISCLAIMER: I’m going through an inexplicable “emotional phase” and the robot in me (and the hubs) is hoping to Hell that it will soon pass. Because it’s affecting all areas of my life. Like how I interact on Facebook. (I’ve become a sappy, “I love you” spewing cyber-stalking mess!) And as you’re about to read, it’s severely affecting my television watching choices. As I’ve sat in front of the boob tube lately, there’s been majuh tears and I’m not sure any of them were justified. And I’m not sure that non-emotional Lisa would at all approve of the television endorsements in this blog post anymore than you will. But here goes…(And PS: I don’t have any “Don’t Watch’s” this week. Because, as you’ll read, my judgment could be severely off. And what I think is a watcher, could be just the opposite. Feel free to let me know if my Kleenexes were not warranted. But I must warn you, if you’re too hard on me I might cry!)

Watch This

Jessica Simpson’s The Price of Beauty Uh, huh. That’s no typo. In fact, it’s so bad that I just became a fan on Facebook.  Who knew the girl who didn’t know Chicken of the Sea was tuna could produce such a compelling show? On the first episode I saw Jessica, her best friend CeCe, and her hairstylist, Ken met an anorexic former model who brought the mom jeans wearing singer to tears. And Jessica Simpson’s not the only one who cried. Then Jessica walked her first ever catwalk and was ordered around by a woman so intimidating that I even slouched down in my couch. Jessica was so nervous and insecure before she walked that suddenly I felt for her- and was compelled to go find John Mayer and kick him where the sun don’t shine. So if you’re overdue for a Hallmark card moment, tune in to this VH1 show. But I have to warn you, after I take my emotional colored glasses off (please God, let it be soon!) , I could be moving this to the Don’t Watch column right next to Cougar Town. Stay tuned.

Watch this

Undercover Boss Even as I type the words, I know you’re probably shaking your head in confusion. And in truth, I kind of am too. And before I tuned in, I would’ve laughed if you’d suggested I even watch it. But after watching a recent episode (A CEO of a family fun park disguised himself and spent the day with several different employees) I was hooked. There was the sidewalk washer who’d lost his home in a flood and also adopted two kids even though he already had three; the formerly homeless single mom who barely made ends meet but said it’s about helping people, the pay comes later and the college student who was going to school full-time and working nights. At the end, the CEO reveals himself and then gives the employees raises, etc.. Right around the time he said he’d pay for the college kid’s tuition, I was bawling my eyes out. Matt was so confused he didn’t know what to do- I hadn’t even cried that hard at our wedding. Again, this might be the time to revisit the disclaimer.

Watch this

Parenthood. Two words. Peter. Krause. Need I say more? On the season finale of Six Feet Under was anyone else crying not only because such a fabulous show was over, but because they wouldn’t be seeing his hotness for a while? OMG, how I’ve missed him!  When I heard the positive buzz about Parenthood, I can’t believe I didn’t realize he was on it. And admittedly, when I tuned into the first episode, I’m not even sure I paid much attention to the storyline or watched anyone other than him. Oh, and Lauren Graham from Gilmore Girls (love her!) But I can say that the show did make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Or, maybe that had more to do with Peter, I don’t know… But I say watch it and let me know what you think- of Peter and of the show.

xoxo,

Lisa

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

Don't Watch!

As much as I love my children, I must admit there’s one aspect of my pre-mommy life that I miss so much it hurts sometimes…

Sitting on the couch for hours watching bad TV.

These days I’m lucky if I can keep up with Project Runway (forget about that Models of the Runway show) and usually just have the hubs give me his dramatic reenactment of that week’s Amazing Race. (Which, btw, he never quite seems to do it justice…)  My Tivo is constantly erasing my fave shows in favor of Hot Wheels, Battle Force 5 and I’ve had to re-prioritize my priority manager more times than I care to mention.

So, I had to learn the hard way how to become a more discerning TV watcher. And because I know many of us have the same problem, I’m happy to help ya out a bit by cutting through all the bullshit and letting you know to Watch this, not that!

Watch The Good Wife

There’s a reason that EW chose The Good Wife as one of the ten best TV shows on right now. I was originally drawn to this show hoping to get my *Mr. Big* fix but ending up staying because of Julianna Marguiles. It’s a story about a woman who stands by her man through a political scandal and finds herself entering the work force after staying home for fifteen years raising her two children.  The storyline is so layered, so well acted, that my stomach does a little flip each week when I see that Tivo has recorded it.  And the best part?  It’s got enough criminal procedural stuff going on that your hubby won’t feel like he’s emasculating himself by watching it with you each week!

Watch The Millionaire Matchmaker

With less time to watch TV these days, I think this is the kind of show I miss most.  The Millionaire Matchmaker kindly runs marathons constantly, just begging you to sit your lazy ass on the couch and watch as Matchmaker Patti cuts through any and all BS. She. Is. Genius. From the way she handles the enormous millionaires’ egos or catfights with a drag queen, she is fantastic.  Whether she’s telling the real estate developer that cuff links are so 1987 and that his haircut channels that guy from Greatest American Hero or she’s telling off an NBA player for mistreating one of her girls, she has the balls to say exactly what we’re all thinking.  If you only have time for one guilty pleasure on your Tivo, I highly recommend this!

Not Cougar Town

I really wanted to like Cougar Town.  It sounded right up my alley-alums from Scrubs, Friends and Dawson’s Creek (don’t judge!) and also featuring the ridiculously hot Josh Hopkins.  Not to mention the fact that, at age thirty-six, I’m *gulp* entering cougar territory myself and was hoping to relate to some of Courtney Cox’s antics.  While watching the pilot, I told myself that it was just a fluke that it seemed, um, awkward and forced.  But since I was determined to become a Cougar Town fan, I gave it a few weeks to get it together.  But I then returned to discover that they were STILL trying too hard.  And while it may still have a place in my Tivo, (right next to the twelve episodes of Desperate Housewives I can’t bring myself to watch) Cougar Town lost it’s place in my heart.

Not Tool Academy

Wanna feel better about your own relationship?  Then Tool Academy may be right up your alley.  It’s about women(and a few good men) who, in a last ditch effort to save their relationship, bring their bandana-wearing, fake tanning, cheating significant others to the Tool Academy. After spending thirty minutes with Neander-Tool, Looney-Tool and DoubleTalking-Tool, I didn’t blame that girlfriend one bit for screaming I’ll cut your ass! at the therapy session.  I felt like screaming too.

For those of us who loved bad boys back in the day, this show will make you squirm, remembering what it was like to date a complete DOUCHE BAG and rejoice in the fact that you pulled your head out of your ass before it was too late.  New favorite quote: You can’t turn a ho into a housewife~Daniel a.k.a. Glow Stick Tool

What are YOU watching this week?

xoxo, Liz

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.

We’ve made no secret about the fact that we love TV. All kinds of TV. From the good to the really, really bad (in a good way) kind. And we’ve also never had a problem hopping up on our soapboxes and giving our two cents about shows like The Bachelor. So…our love of TV + our love of sharing our opinion= our latest feature, Watch this Not that.

Watch this:

Say Yes to the Dress I’m not sure if it’s the fact that my wedding is *gulp* TEN days away or that I’m just strangely obsessed with brides and their entourages as they shop a gown that makes them “look like a princess”, but I’m in LOVE.  I. Can’t. Stop. Watching.  I’ve even got my fiance hooked (don’t tell him I told you!) and scratching his head as he tries to figure out why so many grooms-to-be have an opinion on what type of dress their fiance should buy. I say a groom who knows what a mermaid dress is= gay.

The Bachelor First of all, I don’t know about you, but when I picked up this week’s Us Weekly and saw “Vienna’s Secret” on the cover, I thought I was going to read that someone finally uncovered a picture of her penis because she IS A MAN. Not that she used to dance topless (bore-ring). When dull Jake was picked as the Bachelor, I thought this season was going to suck ass. But thanks to the women, it’s been one mental breakdown after another. (um, Ali, you work in ad sales for Facebook, not in the White House) And now that it’s down to the Penis and Tenley, I’m wondering if Jake picks the Penis and then reveals that he’s gay. And then he’d suddenly become very interesting. So…I say even though we all want to slit our wrists with the overplaying of “On the Wings of Love” hang in there and keep watching- especially Monday’s “The Women Tell All” when crazy pants Michelle, a.k.a. “Um, Jake, I know we just met five seconds ago, but I need you to know that I’m ready to get married and give my mother grandchildren” is baaaack!

Not that:

Grey’s Anatomy Okay, so I have a confession. I broke up with Grey’s earlier this season. But then Ugly Betty got canceled (how am I going to live without bitchy Mark’s one-liners?) and it freed up some space in my DVR and I gave Grey’s a second chance. Well, just like you shouldn’t take an ex-boyfriend back when he comes a beggin’, you should not get sucked back in by a show that’s clearly jumped the shark. No need to doubt me on this. The highlights are: Bailey still gives about five speeches an episode that are all some version of I’m angry, single and did I mention angry? The Chief is in rehab and Derek is taking his place (yawn, snore) and little Grey died her hair blonde. Um, yeah, they don’t really do medicine on the show anymore.

Dating in the Dark I just read that it got renewed. Now, I’m into the good kind of bad TV as much as the next gal (um, even I got sucked in by Snooki). But  I have to draw the line somewhere. And I’m sorry, but are we really supposed to believe that even though people are tugging on each others love handles and going through their underwear drawers, that they’re really basing their decisions solely on their personalities? Sorry, but if you’re going to be so shallow, can you at least give me some better lighting while you do it?

xoxo, Lisa

©2012 Chick Lit Is Not Dead. All Rights Reserved.